Ted Sheridan


14 Stones And A Pocket Full Of Quid Or Death Comes To Cutie - Poem by Ted Sheridan

Hey Mate could you lend me a few extra Quid
I need to buy me someone to love me tonight
Me wife ran off with a much younger man than I
Leaving me here with pounds of wretched squalor__
The Chemist said he could prescribe me a therapeutic agent
but what I've got in mind would provide a befitting end
To the bloody pain in my heart I've been experiencing
She would be fourteen stones and not a pebble less
A Renaissance woman suitable for the King of any house__
With her hips as soft as down filled pillows
and her full red lips tasting of the sweetest honey
She'd wear me out and then lay me down to sleep a tad
beneath her more than ample bosoms___
I always knew I was born to die...it was never even in question....
But never in a thousand years would I have believed....
My death would be from loneliness___
O' how I miss my sweet and bonnie's #ass
2007 © T Sheridan


Comments about 14 Stones And A Pocket Full Of Quid Or Death Comes To Cutie by Ted Sheridan

  • (1/15/2009 7:49:00 PM)

    You truely are behind the times, stick thin with a large gel bussom is the style. But you truely have a nack for entertaining. T (Report) Reply

    0 person liked.
    0 person did not like.
  • (7/5/2007 2:56:00 PM)

    So! This is where the road to 'kill them with kindness' leads! ! Laughing...I think? ? (Report) Reply

  • (6/15/2007 1:12:00 PM)

    Oh, you are just brilliant. Painfully so sometimes. t x (Report) Reply

  • (6/8/2007 6:31:00 PM)

    You're a very funny guy Ted S with a brutal sense of humour! ! ! Got me giggling here mun! ! I'm sure it'll put a smile on a few faces! ! And yeah, sharp as a tack as always! Best, jim (Report) Reply

Read all 4 comments »
User Rating:
4,8 / 5 ( 12 votes ) 4



Read this poem in other languages

This poem has not been translated into any other language yet.

I would like to translate this poem »

word flags

What do you think this poem is about?



Poem Submitted: Friday, June 8, 2007

Poem Edited: Wednesday, March 9, 2011


Famous Poems

  1. Still I Rise
    Maya Angelou
  2. The Road Not Taken
    Robert Frost
  3. If You Forget Me
    Pablo Neruda
  4. Dreams
    Langston Hughes
  5. Annabel Lee
    Edgar Allan Poe
  6. If
    Rudyard Kipling
  7. Stopping By Woods On A Snowy Evening
    Robert Frost
  8. Do Not Stand At My Grave And Weep
    Mary Elizabeth Frye
  9. I Do Not Love You Except Because I Love You
    Pablo Neruda
  10. Television
    Roald Dahl
[Report Error]