A Lover's Death Poem by Holly Heron

A Lover's Death

Rating: 4.3

This breath is stuck within my breast,
This heart caught between beats,
The tear still runs down my cheek,
Before my Lovers folly.

The knife it twists within his back,
Red falls upon this snow,
Hearts beat does come and breaks my chest,
Because of anothers folly.

My tear does strike the ground and freeze,
A monument to subtle death,
Love's betrayal, pain, anguish,
This tear does lie frozen,
For all to see,
What a Lovers death doth bring to me.

Lylyanna Pilewski 11 November 2005

I really really like this poem Lylyanna

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***** ********* 11 November 2005

Very descriptive poem Holly, on the effects on a person, of losing their lover prematurely in death. It happened to me, so I recognise exactly where the poem is going and coming from. All I can say is, it takes time, is a roller coaster and we must ride it, if we are to survive griefs visit in tact. I applaud your honesty. There is a typo on the 3rd line. 'down'. A heartfelt 9 from Tai

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Kelly Allen Vinal 11 November 2005

A powerful read that defies the young age of this poet!

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Albert Wong 05 June 2007

My tear does strike the ground and freeze-What power in this sentence? I like this style of sentenece. Very good, and powerful in this. I like this piece is fully descriptive.

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BEAU GOLDEN 24 June 2006

What a pretty piece of art that is holly it can hang proudly on these walls! the pain jumps r rite out and cuts thru.

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Holly Heron 19 December 2005

thanks for the feedback i really apprecite it. and thankyou tai chi for pointing out the typo i'll sort it as soon as possible.

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Kelly marie Berry 16 November 2005

i really love the way you wrote this poem.it say a lot about what went on.kelly

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Richard Stilwell 14 November 2005

I agree with Kelly Allen Vinal... these are words beyond your years. Keep writing and stay with it. You will see you will only get better and better and that you will go through several style of writing changes. Grow and keep posting so we can share in those words... Rick

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