First draft
A shadow from the past is creeping out
A shallow hourglass
as the days pass i count
How did we get here?
reasons left unclear
Memories held so dear
Let them drift away.
I just need to be free
of these guilty memories
All the weigh i hold
is crushing me
an inablitly
to release
what a disease
you have nothing to apologize for
thank you for everything.
Completely revised
A prophetic assumption
A lesson learned in corruption
A shadow from the past is creeping out
A shallow hour glass, as the days pass i count
A Flame to the candle
A Fire in the eyes
A Blade to the knife
Blood in the skies
Things aint been the same, since you painted the town grey
Thats okay, cos things havent really changed
You speak about blood in the streets
reality is closer than you think
violence like silence spread
across a guilty sea
there is no bargain plea
pay back, restitution we seek
sorrow you have sown
fruitition is at its peak
a coldness rising from the floor
close your blinds and lock your door
a darkness setting in
lie down and pretend you dont exist
forget not the wisdom of old
these things have been fortold
i agree with Sara, drastic memories like your memories are coming back it's a nice poem i enjoyed it
yeahh i like this. its really...dark. in a way. but its so..true. your a great poet and dont change it
i liked it^^, but it seems that you words were rushed in a way. Maybe if you pull out the feeling and draw them out our depiction of your poem would have a better meaning. =] A very good read^^
Yes, as well as being a good expression of feelings, this work has potential as a very good poem. Irene
its not that bad dude its pretty darn good just make sure u have the feeling come out so i can feel ur pain or ur feelings
David, A lost True love crushes all of us at one time or another. When the realization that the other person ' has nothing to apologize for ' you've come a long way towards healing
This poem has not been translated into any other language yet.
I would like to translate this poem
Hmm kind of a twist, much of a general realization of the guilt from the drastic memories. that pull you deeper and deeper into a hole, but the ending goes into a strange twist that makes the poem bright, thank you for everything. i guess its the same story throughout but seems sorta like a twist i reallly enjoyed it