A Very Cruel Response Poem by Tom Billsborough

Responding to your note, my dear,
Congratulations on your pregnancy,
But from your tone, it seems quite clear
That I should admit paternity.

Consulting with my legal team
I must decline your kind request.
I must confess your very name
Remains unknown. The question of a test

Seems thus superfluous. Is this perhaps
A circular produced from your computer?
I do recall a night when several of our chaps
Enjoyed the pleasures of a lady fair.

I was myself abstemious and so, my honey,
You must seek another source for alimony.