Michael Shepherd

Rookie (8.4.1929 / Marton, Lancashire)

Another ******* Rant... - Poem by Michael Shepherd

Emotion recollected in
Tranquillity? Not.

British Telecom has this time
added to my modest bill
£4.50 ($ 9, right?) for
‘processing’ my payment.
That’s 10% of my modest bill..
the bloody nerve.

So what about the cost to me
of ‘processing’ my bill?
The costly stamp I’m lucky
if I’ve got; the mental effort
of having to spell out the figures
on the cheque, in case someone
alters them; the walking to the postbox..
what makes them think I’m not doing this
in my expensive working hours, for which
I charge a consultation fee?

I see they’ve even set up
a separate company to ‘process’…
bet that was cheap… Though of course
I could follow their ‘complaints procedure’
and phone them… ‘ we are sorry but
our lines are Very Busy…your phone call
is important to us…please hold the line…’

So tell me, why shouldn’t I… charge them? …

Comments about Another ******* Rant... by Michael Shepherd

  • (6/10/2007 10:27:00 AM)

    Yes, of course you should! But you should only do such eloquent rants afterwards - it diminishes the momentum. :) Then go to equitalk.co.uk for cheaper bills (no shares, honest) . t x (Report) Reply

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  • (6/9/2007 9:14:00 PM)

    Michael, I would just send them this poem as an attachment. Or perhaps send it as a letter to your local rag. Justified poetic rage penned poetically. love, Allie xxxx (Report) Reply

  • (6/9/2007 10:52:00 AM)

    Damn (are we allowed to say that?) straight, charge the bloody gits! (As you say over there, or at least as the Beatles said once)
    Here, Michael, tell them this! You can quote me! :

    &#^@% $&#**&$^^ @**#&* *#&##^ $^#&^^^! **(##&^


    At first I mistakenly read BUSH Telecom! Figured EVERYTHING'S Bush's fault.
    Good luck, my man!
    A buddy of mine, who's been in the journalism business like you, was once charged, like $1500 US, to talk to his daughter who was visiting Latin America, for a couple hours.
    He threatened to notify his newspaper-columnist friends, and they lowered the bill, but not enough for him, and he threatened more.

    He finally succeeded in getting his $1500 bill lowered to something like $10!

    So keep pluggin'!
    (Report) Reply

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Poem Submitted: Saturday, June 9, 2007

Poem Edited: Wednesday, March 9, 2011

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