David McLansky

Veteran Poet - 1,602 Points (5/24/1944 / New York City)

Answer To Valsa George's Quest For An Anonymous Lover - Poem by David McLansky

As I stole into your garden
The conifers thick upon the margin;
Sharp with needles that pinched my skin
That didn't want to let me in;

Couldn't you have left the gate unlatched?
Why did I have to be pricked and scratched
Was this some form of test or hurdle
To prove my worth to access your girdle?

I saw you standing at your window
Framed in a yellow after glow;
I saw you unwrap your sari dress;
I saw your bosom and was quite impressed;

I tried to climb your latticed deck
A swarml of bees settled on my neck;
I lost my footing as they stung
And slipped down several wooden rungs;

Then I was surrounded by a canine pack
Who bared their teeth ready to attack;
Fortunately your husband came along,
And extricated me from their milling throng

I am too old for these mad excursions
I should seek out more safe diversions;
Perhaps I could join you for tea and scones
I'd be glad to visit when your husband's home.

Topic(s) of this poem: love

Comments about Answer To Valsa George's Quest For An Anonymous Lover by David McLansky

  • Bri Edwards (7/23/2017 11:18:00 PM)

    three years after my first comment here:

    i did not notice (or at least mention) the typo here:

    A swarml of bees settled on my neck;

    but i still 'love' the poem.

    bri :)

    so, did you get invited for 'tea and scones' [i've never heard it called that! ! ! ]? ?
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  • (1/10/2017 12:53:00 AM)

    David, I'm just getting introduced to Valsa's poetry and really love it. The title of your poem intrigued me and diverted me from a communication to her. I'm glad. The poem is a riot! I couldn't stop laughing. This was my first read of your poetry. Looking forward to more.
    You might like my Legendary Performance. But please do not read the last line first. Please comment and/or rate it. Thanks.
    (Report) Reply

  • Elaine Sept (9/13/2014 9:40:00 PM)

    So so so fun and funny! You are clever my friend! xo (Report) Reply

  • (5/31/2014 7:39:00 PM)

    Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !
    Did I make my point? This is such a great poem! Loaded with tasteful humor! I certainly needed a good chuckle today and your poem gave me full out belly laughs!
    You did an amazing job with this piece David! Kudos to you! ! ! !
    (Report) Reply

  • (5/31/2014 1:19:00 PM)

    ..............truly enjoyed this creative write....you gave me a laugh, too (Report) Reply

  • Bri Edwards (3/3/2014 7:03:00 PM)

    To prove my worth to access your girdle? ..............i laughed aloud at this line, especially since i know Valsa....but not in THAT way. i shall try to remember to ask her if she has seen this!

    in online urban dictionary the first definition of afterglow (you wrote after glow) is:

    The feeling after an orgasm ...............i must have just paid her a visit! forgive me, valsa's husband; i'm just kidding! ;)

    if you use two? ? in the second stanza, why not three? ? ? ..........?

    overall i have to say i love this poem. i have sent it to MyPornList. i mean MyPoemList. thanks for sharing.

    p.s. there IS a key under the door mat. bri :)

    [love the rhyming, humor, and punctuation. oh yeah, the story also.]
    (Report) Reply

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Poem Submitted: Wednesday, February 26, 2014

Poem Edited: Sunday, September 14, 2014

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