Bacon Poem by Mark Heathcote

We can't live without it
I love how it turns a buttery gold
How it crackles and melts on my tongue
Oh, you can't beat it.
All you need is a pan and stove
It's sweet and salty,
Full of protein and saturated fats
It's like a full striptease perhaps.

I can't live without it
It's a golden ribbon that takes the prise
You can't really, beat it.
Utilitarian, let's not over analyse
It's what you want when you first open your eyes
Before you open your Sunday hymnbooks
It's what you want
In all-those quiet seaside, inglenooks.

It's what you want
From your nearest American dinner
With ketchup dripping off your sleeve and collar
It compliments your eggs and sausages
It sizzles and pops as it cooks
I-do-believe—is a rare commodity,
I want 3-slices, please
And don't make me wait an age or I'll holler.

I want for your rashers
I can't get enough on my plate.
Forget the omelette
I can't wait
It smells delicious
It smells divine
A temptress
I'll make mine all the time we dine.


~or~

You can't live without it
It's a golden ribbon that takes the prise
You can't really, beat it
Utilitarian, let's not over analyse.
It's what you want
Before you open your Sunday hymnbooks
It's what you want
In all-those quiet seaside, inglenooks.

It's what you want
From your nearest American dinner
With ketchup dripping off your sleeve and collar
It's a compliment to your eggs and sausages
It sizzles and pops as it cooks
I-do-believe is a rare commodity,
I want 3-slices, please!
And don't make me wait for ages.

Oh, you can't live without it
Oh, I love how it turns a buttery gold
Crackles and melts on my tongue
Oh, you can't really, beat it
All you need is a pan and stove
It's sweet and salty,
Is it better than love?
It's as sexy as you please.

Yes, yes, yes "some more, please."

Full of protein and saturated fats
It's like a striptease on your tongue
It's like making love and perhaps
It's even better than making love.
Oh, I want 3-slices more, please!
And don't make me wait for ages
Because I want some-
On a freshly sliced buttered oily seed bun.

Oh, it comes with so many temptations;
All I can say is—yes, yes, yes "some more, please."
More, more, more if you don't mind, please
For your rashers, you've got me on my knees
I can't get enough on my plate.