Blind Within Mind Poem by Lady _off_track
Blind Within Mind
O'er the gloaming morn, hues of sapphire and rust,
The shadows of thought, clouding my trust.
My vision blurs, terrene bliss forlorn,
My sight obscured, in a blindness of mind forlorn.
Apathy reigns, my ardor for life, gone,
My joys and my sorrows, like a forgotten song.
My beleaguered soul, within a void of grace,
Searching for solace in a silent embrace.
My spirit dulled, my passion stilled,
My aspirations of life, all unfulfilled.
The walls of my mind, ever so opaque,
My dreams are crushed, in a state of opaque.
The sun may rise, the stars may shine,
But the darkness in me, will ever be mine.
My dreams, my hopes, of life sublime,
Forever lost, in a blind within mind.
The End?
Although, The grief of my plight, so heavy, so deep,
My life, a parched field, in a barren sleep.
My heart, a cadaver, my soul, in dismay,
The darkness within, for me, here to stay.
My hopes and my dreams, in a distant skyline,
My vision, a blur, my will, beguiled.
The despair and the sorrow, so profound and so deep.
My life and my dreams, to an eternal sleep.
Alas, I must journey, without a star's light,
My dreams, my hopes, in a realm so distant and bright.
My heart, my soul, I must find within,
The courage and strength, to rise and begin.
The Spark of courage will kindle a flame,
My battle is joined, I will not be tamed.
My heart beats strong, and my spirit is free,
I will strive for greatness, for all to see.
The sun will rise, and the stars will shine,
The darkness within me, will be left behind.
My dreams, my hopes, of life sublime,
Will come alive, in a blaze of my mine.
It is courage and resilience that would see us through, in hard times. " My battle is joined, I will not be tamed.
FORLORN: Abandoned, deserted, or desolate. Sad or lonely, especially from being deserted or abandoned. Suggesting or characterized by sadness or loneliness.
(2) OPAQUE: Impenetrable by light; neither transparent nor translucent. Not reflecting light; having no luster. Impenetrable by a form of radiant energy other than visible light.
OK, my last (for sure) comment: I guess you plan to: 'drag/pull yourself up by your (own) ˈbootstraps (informal) improve your situation yourself, without help from other people'
Ok, NOW my last comment: I don't feel 'rhymes' must be perfect, nor that words should NOT be repeated, but I don't know how to interpret some lines. ;) bri
last comment? : I think your last line is meant to end with 'mind', not 'mine'. There are sections of poem which I think are meant to form long sentences, but I don't think they do. I don't feel 'rhymes' must be perfect, nor words repeated
comment 3 or 4 or is it 5? : stanza 5: I'd make some small changes/additions to make this stanza a complete sentence. : ) bri And why use 'Although' at all?
This poem has not been translated into any other language yet.
I would like to translate this poem
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4/25/2024 10:12:16 PM # 1.0.0.1119
The sun will rise, and the stars will shine, The darkness within me, will be left behind.