Broken Pieces Of A Smile Poem by DeAire Taylor

Broken Pieces Of A Smile

Rating: 4.6


Now you left me for a girl
And made my world turn in a whirl
When I think of you I start to hate myself
Because now you're like a drug
You're bad for my health
When I see you in the mirror
I break the walls
And I'm taking this hard
I'm taking a long fall
I'm in a state of depression
I have this crazy obsession over you
And now I realize
I can't live without you

COMMENTS OF THE POEM
Neko Girl 08 March 2012

awwwwww thts so cute and depressing a little bit but cute keep on writting i cant wait to read more

2 0 Reply
Becka Rhodes 09 March 2012

It has spirit to it. That's almost what I feel about my exboyfriend now

1 0 Reply
Marlene Rashidi 09 March 2012

I knew it! It was going to sound good. This is so touching.

1 0 Reply
Crisa Earley 12 April 2012

Its good, It has a depth to it. If you were going for feeling you have acheived your goal; however, your rhythm is off. Try fixing your gramatical structure, add commas, semicolons, ect. Without it it reads almost as if its a list opposed to a poem. Adding commas, ect. will creat pauses giving the reader a chance to absorb what you, the poet, is trying to say.

1 0 Reply
Blaire Weiss 04 May 2012

I find this poem amazing: ]

1 0 Reply
Becka Rhodes 31 October 2012

good job :) i know your pain, i can feel it when i read it

0 0 Reply
Samantha Rak 19 June 2012

I really like this poem, just focus your thoughts a little more and you'll be greater because of it. You have a talent, feed that :) cheers

1 0 Reply
Masaomi Tezuka 23 May 2012

That was really good. You should keep writing becasue one day you will a great poet. Great job =)

2 0 Reply
Marissa Ford 17 May 2012

i almost wanted to cry but great poem! !

1 0 Reply
Liliana Roman 11 May 2012

touching. however im with crisa earley. it is very touching though.

1 0 Reply
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