David Harris

Gold Star - 4,611 Points (18 June 1945 / Bradfield, England)

Car Washers (Fun Poem 34) - Poem by David Harris

You pull into a car park
and they spring out of nowhere.
“Do you want your car washed
while you’re doing your shopping?
We do not charge a lot.”
My answer is no.
“Sorry mate but my car is under scientific study.
I am an insect- ornithologist.
I study bird droppings and insect splatters.
I get out every night with my tweezers,
take the remaining bits off,
and put them in a specimen jar.
I am also going in for
the dirtiest car of the year award.
I have won it three times already.
So you see my car does not need a wash thank you.”
They look at me somewhat strangely
before they go on their merry way.
Therefore, the next time you pull into a car park
and someone wants to wash your car.
Just tell them you are an insect-ornithologist
engaged in a scientific study.
They will never understand what you mean.
They might think you are somewhat strange,
but you will save yourself a packet.
Now that ain’t strange, that is wise.

(22 July 2007)

Comments about Car Washers (Fun Poem 34) by David Harris

  • (7/27/2007 6:01:00 PM)

    I have that same little red car parked in my driveway...PT Crusier...It used to be mine and I took the best care of it...Then himself took it over....spilt coffee...food...dog nose prints...cigerette ashes...I gave up on cleaning others messes...so it no longer even looks red....cute write: O) (Report) Reply

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  • (7/25/2007 11:42:00 AM)

    David, you really do have some tricks up your sleeve. A true magician with no dearth of tricks. (Report) Reply

  • (7/22/2007 1:22:00 PM)

    Clever! I did enjoy this delightful piece (Report) Reply

  • (7/22/2007 12:59:00 PM)

    Well thats one way to get rid of them, i use the Northern charm on them.. Touch my car and i will break your arms.. Just joking my friend..10 (Report) Reply

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Poem Submitted: Sunday, July 22, 2007

Poem Edited: Tuesday, March 22, 2011

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