~church~

Rating: 4.0

I see you,
Coming toward the car,

-My stomach flops.

I play it off as nothing,
As if youre not there,

-My heart cries.

I see you in church,
And you look happy,

-A smile forms.

You leave for a minute,
You look unhappy,

-My heart sinks.

After church,
You pull me off to the side,

-My body freezes.

You tell me you still want to talk,
And you ask for a hug,

-I jump at the chance.

Things seem normal again,
Like nothing ever happened,

-Im the happiest I've been in weeks.

But then I remember,
Remember her,

-My stomach flops.

READ THIS POEM IN OTHER LANGUAGES
COMMENTS OF THE POEM
J P Klegg 12 July 2005

The word that needs the apostrophe is 'Im'.

0 0 Reply
J P Klegg 12 July 2005

I liked this - I would capitalize all the 'I's that refer to you. I would put a space after the dashes, but that's fairly subjective. Lastly, you need an apostrophe toward the end, I think in the word 'Ive'. Good one. Jeff

0 0 Reply
Peter A. Crowther 09 June 2005

This is very good and the single lines are very effective - well done

0 0 Reply