Michael Patrick Hunt


Clocktower - Poem by Michael Patrick Hunt

Midnight's tears
Fall upon the empyrean veil
Drowning the city's roar
Buried so far below
Phantoms dancing
In the luminescence
Trapped in the streetlamp's guile
Getting lost in the silence
Awaiting their day to rise
When the bell chimes once more

Topic(s) of this poem: city

Form: Free Verse


Comments about Clocktower by Michael Patrick Hunt

  • Fabrizio Frosini (9/13/2015 12:20:00 PM)


    it's here, too:
    http: //www.poemhunter.com/poem/a-translation-la-torre-dell-orologio-a-poem-by-michael-patrick-hunt/
    (Report) Reply

    1 person liked.
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  • Fabrizio Frosini (9/13/2015 11:58:00 AM)


    Your poem, translated into Italian..
    __________________________


    La torre dell'orologio - Poesia di Michael Patrick Hunt

    Le lacrime della mezzanotte
    Cadono sul velo dell'empireo
    Annegando il ruggito della città
    Sepolta giù sotto

    Spettri danzano
    Alla luce fioca
    Intrappolati nell'inganno del lampione
    E si perdono nel silenzio
    Aspettando che il loro giorno spunti

    Quando la campana rintoccherà di nuovo


    ____
    note:
    I have taken ''Buried so far below'' as referred to 'city'.
    (Report) Reply

    Fabrizio Frosini Fabrizio Frosini (9/14/2015 5:58:00 AM)

    glad to know that I took it right.. meaning both 'city' and phantoms' (: people)

    and the picture I added to the poem (my translation + your original text) isn't that bad.. is it? :)

    Ciao

    Michael Hunt (9/13/2015 11:20:00 PM)

    Italian is such a beautiful language! Thank you for sharing the translation. Yes, by buried so far below I meant the city below the clock tower. In my mind, this was written in the perspective of the tower itself looking down at the city.

  • Fabrizio Frosini (9/13/2015 11:50:00 AM)


    can you answer the following 2 question points, Michael, please?

    1.
    empyrean = high, in heaven
    so how can ''..tears / Fall upon the empyrean veil''?

    2.
    'Buried so far below': does it refer to 'city' or to 'phantoms'..?
    I have taken it as referred to 'city'

    but should it be referred to 'phantoms':
    'so far' in SPACE or TIME?

    Cheers
    and.. WELCOME at P.H.! :)
    (Report) Reply

    Michael Hunt (9/13/2015 11:39:00 PM)

    1. I tried to convey that the darkness of the night seemed to make the city seem like it was covered up. You've probably guessed that the tears were raindrops. It's not so much that it was raining on the sky, but raining on the thick darkness below. Also, I think using that word helps to make the tower seem taller and distant from the city.

    2. I really meant both in a sense. The phantoms are the people in the city, who seem like ghosts to the tower because of the physical distance and the distance from people going through their routines with a disregard of time. I wanted to give the reader a desire to stop and appreciate each moment. I used the word phantom to represent incompleteness or not having a great impact on others because of their distractions. I know it might have not been the best word choice, but of course I am still growing as a poet. Thank you for bringing these things to my attention, it really made me think.

  • Pamela Sinicrope (9/13/2015 8:34:00 AM)


    I love your poetry. I have never used the word 'empyrean' before. Your imagery again is beautiful and I love how you challenge the reader to slow down to read such a short pithy poem. The words themselves, even absent of mea in, are beautiful to read aloud... Then layer in the message or interpretation and a new richness emerges. (Report) Reply

    Michael Hunt (9/13/2015 11:45:00 PM)

    Thank you so much for your kindness and encouragement. That is exactly what I was trying to accomplish. I find a great deal of beauty in communicating complex ideas in a small amount of words. I love to use less common words for this reason.

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Poem Submitted: Sunday, September 13, 2015



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