its so hard to jump back into the game
when shes still the main topic on your brain
you think about her constantly every single day
a whirlpool of emotions wondering why she didn't stay
if you put everything you have to give into something
when its gone you simply become nothing
especially when she goes with no reason
just seemed to fade away with the season
you have to be yourself for a relationship to be complete
don't just ride along in the passenger seat
love her until death and do it in style
cuz you know its a treat to make a girl smile
even if you do this and be number 1 lover
she could still walk away and go to another
and thats when you would want to ask it
the dreaded 'is it really worth all this'
you ask that question after she left your hand
in which point and time you can barely stand
cuz you gave all the love you could possibly show
and you still become confused and alone
James H May,2008 (c)
Wow! what an amazingly heartfelt poem that has so much feeling and sorrow in it. It has wonderful balance and rhythm that you dont see much of and it truly is such a great poem. Great job, keep up the great writing skills. ~JRose~
you have the fundamentals down, I think you need to up the complexity of the ryhmes. Don't based what your heart tells you to write on worrying about how to rhyme the next line. I personally would dropp the slang, it has no place in serious poetry. Overall I nice word choice throughout and your emotions are raw and that's certainly a great start! Keep writing and each piece gets better. It's all about the experience!
Amazingly written, very deep and I know how you felt when writing this. Great job! Keep writing, you have talent! Thank you for sharing =)
A bit of suffocation and a bit if realism, I like your style. Keep writing, dear.
This poem has not been translated into any other language yet.
I would like to translate this poem
i know this.. and i feel you. it dose get good. all is for good.. look for your inside when your alone; its what alone is for.