Cream Coloured Panties Poem by Dónall Dempsey

So eager
to divest ourselves

of our outer garments

(you down now to your smalls
me to my nothing at alls)

we can’t recall
how any or all

of our underwear

came to be
here and there or there & here

the bell buzzing
us into panic

mother-in-law visiting
to see how we are coping

casting a critical eye
on our new abode

and to our amazed delight
winning her zeal of approval.

“You’ve made it a home! ”
she pronounces in a silk purse from a sow’s ear tone.

All goes well until
being gentlemanly

I go to give her
money for her taxi fare

pull out
wallet

&
your cream coloured crumpled panties

(hastily stuffed into pocket in panic)

spills at her horrified feet
sexily lingering over the tips of her toes

still attempting
to be civil

(she looks at me as if I were the Devil)

& simply ignoring what’s happening
kicks them aside as if they hadn’t ever existed

they land
on the cat

who runs ‘round the flat
panties on his back

she leaves
in a huff

without another word

the door
slamming behind her

as we flower
into helpless laughter.