D.I.D Poem by Deluke Muwanigwa

Dissociative Identity Disorder (D.I.D)

Did they say i m helplessly neurotic?
I dont know the origin of their neurosis
The dream i had was very very real
He wanted my blood for a meal
My auntie in the dream said its true
She said he didnt love me, i m a fool
He just wants to use me for rituals
There will never be nuptials
When i woke up i was so consumed
The dream left me so so confused

Did they say i m totally crazy?
Although my recollection is hazy
I know a satanist when i see one
The things they do to get it done
The constant phone calls at night
The rituals the do out of sight
They pretend to know my name
They pretend to me we are the same
I battle them every Thursday night
I know how to handle them right

Did he say he loves and cares for me?
I know love is never never for free
It's always scratch my back this way
If you do i will never go away
Every time i end up on my own
Alone in the darkness no one to phone
I m not going to trust another human
Whether its a man or its a woman
I was born on my own all alone
I will not apologise to atone

Did they say i m in a good mood?
There is really no need to brood
I feel the world beneath my feet
I can stroll happily down the street
I have no real problem with anyone
I smile greet and wave at every one
God has been good to me of late
I just feel on top of the empire state
I am having a real beautiful blast
Hope this good feeling will last

Did they say life is worth living?
I cant be tricked into believing
I feel like sticking live wires in a plug
Drinking that antifreeze in a mug
Jump in front of a moving car
Cut my wrist into a deep gushing scar
I m tired of their usual useless words
Just want to fly away to other worlds
I don't care about my wealth
I just want to harm my own health

Did they say its a mental problem?
They say i need to be on a program
They dont realise this is a mind game
I pretend i forget my full name
I wanna see who can read my mind
Who can see there's nothing to find
I m just bored i want some thrill
I want to see how the experts feel
I enjoy stringing them all along
I want to prove them all wrong

Did i see those cousins of mine?
They are wasting my precious time
I will get a big sharp shogun knife
Sit quietly pretending to take my life
They will panic and call the police
Police will come with my niece
Send me to the psychiatric unit
I will pay 7000 dollars for my impunity
The doctor will say i m malingering
But stopped my cousins from lingering

Did they say i speak nonsense?
What i say doesnt make any sense
I know i speak to God Himself
A language only spoken by myself
When i m finished i dont remember
I just know that i am a member
One of the few people who talk to God
I see Him sitting in his seat of Gold
When i m finished i m so afraid
I never remember what God said

Did they say i read the scriptures?
I dont want any biblical strictures
There's one in the car for when i travel
Everywhere there is one i can unravel
One under the bed for before i sleep
The new testament i like to keep
An old testament in the headboard
A different version in the cupboard
This is my normal behaviour
I do it in service of my saviour

Did they say i dont trust anyone?
I m jealousy of those i love anytime
They say i m very very generous
I give those i like like i m prosperous
They even say i m manipulative
A schemer who is always calculative
They say that i have my high phase
Quickly turning to a freaking face
I m like a beautiful chameleon
I alter myself as many times as a million.