Damage Poem by adam cliff


Rating: 5.0

Wrapped up in her life,
Her career, her world,
Rejecting those who are close,
Uncomfortable silences,
Or big flaming rows,
With someone she made herself,
Someone she loves,
But doesn’t know,
Someone she feeds,
But doesn’t care for,
Someone in fact,
She knows nothing about,
So long since they’ve spoken,
She doesn’t know,
How kind, gentle hearted,
How well behaved and good,
How much damage she’s causing,
To them, to their life...


Melvina Germain 12 August 2006

Well Adam, What this poem means to me is, a mother being a very important role model in one's life has neglected her children and dedicated herself more to work, social events etc. She had her children and then left her children so to speak. It hurts and it hurts deeply. Again isn't it marvelous that one can express oneself on paper. Sometimes though, one can express oneself on paper and not verbally. I think if a child were to sit down and have a heart to heart talk with the person that's hurting them, situations may change. Sadness prevails in this poem and that's such a shame. Well written-once again-keep up the good work----Melvina

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Red Blooded Black Hearted 09 August 2006

that's a beautifully sad poem. great work.

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Ernestine Northover 12 March 2006

This is a nice poem Adam, and flows well, but one or two lines I'm not sure come across as giving the right meaning. 'With someone she made herself' to me doesn't quite make sense, perhaps I am reading it wrong, but it has to be clear for the person reading it, and I feel a line is missing between, 'How well behaved and good' and 'How much damage she's causing' there seems to be no link between these lines. Your potential is great, it's just a case of keeping each line linked with the next, unless it breaks with a full-stop. Hope this makes sense to you. This is not a criticism, just some advice which might help you. Love Ernestine XXX

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