Death Comes To Wedding Poem by Jacques Sprenkie Mateya
Death Comes To Wedding
Truth has been loitering around her like a devil's advocate.
Found its alighting on her singular day
It came out and cleft her up
Like a walnut under elephant foot
She looks at me with her eyes
Like two full moons fading in the clouds
Swayed side to side like a young palm tree on windy day
The sky was filled with a loud hiss
She converged all the sorts of sobs
Fell on a ground like an animal ready for lion's lunch
The attendants instigated weeping and wailing
As if her hiss was a song
Until they had furrows of tears in their cheeks
Like it was aftermath of her funeral
Jilted on her wedding
That's the Truth that smite.
To me! It was like bloody meat in the lion's teeth
And her wedding became her untimely death
Already organizing her autopsy
Hi Jacques. A very good poem with vivid imagery.I suggest a few grammatical changes below.Also check you are using the same tense all the way through.I like the ending and can picture this terrible scene.Congratulations.. you are a poet. Tell me, what is your first language? I know at one time you were forced to speak Afrikaans but now that's not te case.English is a universal language on the internet. I hope you are happy with these suggestions.Wishing you the best, Kate Verse 1 suggest split her open under an elephant's foot Verse2 She looks at me, her eyes like two full moons etc on a windy day the line with convergence needs altering The attendants were the first to weep furrows in their cheeks the aftermath of her funeral Jilted on her wedding day that's the truth that hit me.
wow...this is so real, did this really happen? you deserve an applause
I put on a long comment which has disappeared.It was mainly grammar changes.Kate
This poem has not been translated into any other language yet.
I would like to translate this poem
Delivering Poems Around The World
Poems are the property of their respective owners. All information has been reproduced here for educational and informational purposes to benefit site visitors, and is provided at no charge...
4/24/2024 6:54:39 AM # 1.0.0.1119
This is very intense and stronly dramatic. The line until they had furrows of tears in their chick should read...in their cheeks. The meat to the lion reference is great, the predator and prey metaphor. The last stanza is really descriptive and succinctly portrays the sudden changes of fortune in this life, sad but true. Good write.