Depression Won't Win Poem by Dustin Smith

When I was twelve, a stranger knocked on the door,
Hi, can we be friends? I know we haven't met before.
I said sure and let them in,
This is were our friendship begins.
We sat down I said tell me about yourself.
She said, not much to know, I am new in town,
I'm a real good friend, always there when you're feeling down.

Next few years flew by fast,
Fell in and out of love with some girls but it never last.
Secluded myself from everyone for about 6 years,
All alone with you and you saw my tears.
You told me from day one you would always be there,
Never left my side when nobody else cares
You came out of nowhere and became my new obsession,
10 years later I find out that you're just depression.

You wasted away my life with your disguise,
Looking back, everything you said were lies.
I feel like a time traveler because I live in the past,
I never wanted to believe our love wouldn't last.
Turned out you weren't the angel that God sent me,
You are the enemy.

No matter how hard I tried,
I couldn't just set you aside.
You had me push everyone away,
Without you I would be alone and afraid.
Since you won't leave, I tried to find ways to cope,
I've never been the type to smoke that dope.
Suffered for so long but found a way to face my fears,
Just simply drown them out with this liquor and beer.

All this pain makes me wish life was over,
But it gets easier when I'm not sober.
I've got so much on my mental,
Come around me and you have to be gentle.
All of these people are so judge-mental,
My actions are not accidental.
Every day the problems get bigger,
Hand on the gun, my finger squeezing the trigger.

Depression and anxiety are a true illness,
No medicine is strong enough to kill this. People ask me how I am I say okay but that's a lie,
Every night lay me down to sleep I cry.
These thoughts going through my head like all I want to do is die.
People tell me that I make them sad,
You're right, I can control this, my bad.

You grabbed the rope and tied the noose,
Slipped it around my neck and just let loose.
As I was there danglin,
The rope around my neck was stranglin.
I closed my eyes and saw the light,
Decided that this wasn't going to be my last fight.

Take me back to the days spent in the cradle,
Back before I let the depression in and she became fatal.
Back before I trusted her and she lied,
Back before all I can think about is suicide.
She put me through a lot of self-doubt,
Make me wanna blow my fuckin brains out.
Pain so deep I put the gun to my head,
They won't care until I'm already dead.
Maybe they'll take back what they say,
But it won't matter cause I won't be here another day.
I aimed the gun to my head but hesitated to pull the trigger,
My life flashed before my eyes and the picture that I saw, it was bigger.

Is the glass half empty or half full?
I'm not the type who is use to opening up,
But for most of my life I didn't even notice that I even had water in my cup.