This is not too bad, but I find the adjective fine a bit trivial here. The word trivial is too broad to express a message that has touched you or the voice in the poem. You could use is more powerful or meaningful word. I see that fine is used for its rhyme, but it makes the poem somewhat weak.
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This is not too bad, but I find the adjective fine a bit trivial here. The word trivial is too broad to express a message that has touched you or the voice in the poem. You could use is more powerful or meaningful word. I see that fine is used for its rhyme, but it makes the poem somewhat weak.