Distant Silence Poem by dr swami arupananda

I know
we cannot negate our history,
our coloured past,
it throbs like an eternal babe;
like Truth
history admits no distortion.

I have given you all
I had possessed:
luxury of my body,
subtlety of my soul,
tears of my longing,
and the life of a woman
destined as I was to be.

Today when I sit
like a log of charcoal
on the ashes of my solitude
and ask questions
the answer I get
is a distant silence.

Did I really desire
in the innocence of the dews,
in the sharpness of sunshine,
in the twilight of the day,
or in the density of darkness
anything from you
for my life-time's surrender?

I only used words and passions
the game of love needed,
this body, the heat and lust
in it I offered
the game of love needed.

Was I really there in them
when I know
these flesh and bones
were never mine?

I know
you are the logos
whrever you be
there grows siali bowers,
there flows a Yamuna
there blows cool soft breeze
carrying scents from various flowers
and there you discover me.
Why should I lonely be?

My Kanha, my Krishna, my Keshav
you are a smiling sea
and I am your blue water
constantly dancing
as surfs on the shore
and the world lives.