When Sun Beams Expire
And Careful Thoughts Retire,
Listen Of Soften Flute,
And Saw Dancing Fires.
I Was Shocked,
My Heart Locked,
Then I Saw My Beloved,
I Forgot What's Around.
Timorous Rays Of His Eyes
Eclipse Seven Skies,
Unconsciously,
My Eyes Fixed In His Bright Eyes
And Mighty HeartBlushed.
I Hold His Hand,
And Gently Whisper In His Ear,
YOU Know What!
Sometimes‘FAIRY TALES'Become True.
Wowwww........ an awesome write that echos so many of my own feelings.
3 – I tried to determine the meaning of Seven Skies & think you refer to this Google offering: " In religious or mythological cosmology, the seven heavens refer to seven levels or divisions of Heaven." It sounds like his " Rays" are very powerful! i also found reference to a TV station. After line 4, things seem pretty clear. i 'get the picture'! ! ! bri :) p.s. I wonder if my friend Akhtar 'sent you' to me. hmm?
2 - In the first half of your poem, the punctuation is not as i learned to use periods and commas. " timorous" (a word i'm not used to using) could mean several different feelings***; i'd try to be more specific. *** " showing or suffering from nervousness, fear, or a lack of confidence"
1 - it is difficult for me to know how to change some of your wording for it to sound " right" to me i.e. the way i would arrange the words. for example: " Listen Of Soften Flute, And Saw Dancing Fires" these 2 lines follow 2 other lines in which there are present tense verbs [Expire & Retire] I don't know if Listen is meant as a noun or a verb. And, with " Saw" , you begin to change verb tenses, mostly to past tense verbs, for the rest of the poem.
During a total solar eclipse may stars that are not visible due to sunlight come before our sight. Hakim Momin Khan Momin says, " Tum mere pas hote ho goya Jab koi dossra nahiN hota." a heart touchin love poem by Konab Ghumman (By the way I couldn't find the meaning of Konab.)
And Mighty Heart Blushed.I Hold His Hand, And Gently Whisper In His Ear, YOU Know What! Sometimes‘FAIRY TALES'Become True.
This poem has not been translated into any other language yet.
I would like to translate this poem
Your poem is love. I like it. I like the depth of your thoughts and vision though you convey it in a simple way. A beauty.