From A Brokenness That Darkness Keeps Poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar

You're gone...
And still I'm trying to find you.
A laughter quick,
With amusing wit is missed.
Even your moodiness,
And explicit displeasure,
Whenever our points of view came to clash...
In splits of silence!

Wishing the telephone would ring,
As we would sit not to answer it!
Only to find ourselves stumbling...
Humbled in apologies.
Accepted from you and those from me.
Both appeasing and wanting to please!

You're gone...
And I'm still trying to find you.
In every place I seem to sit,
Someone with a face reminds me of you.
There is not just one thing I miss...
I think of our arguments,
And miss those too!

You're gone...
And I'm trying to find you.

I've tried to have affairs,
With those I knew I did not care about!
I lied to myself...
Thinking I could.
Pretending I would get over you,
And it was time I should!

But you are gone!
And I am still trying to find you.
In everything I do...
I wonder how you would feel about it!
I wondered about you when kissing someone new.
I felt deep guilt as if I had 'jilted'...
A promise made,
Not clearly thought through!

No one like you I know I will ever find.
And I know that more...
As time hasn't come to mend my mind!
I'm trying from a brokenness that darkness keeps.
Slipping you in and out of a restless sleep.
I'm trying for a new beginning for us to start...
A useless wish for you and I
To not be this far apart!

But you are gone!
And moving on...
Has not been easy!