Gentleman Coward Poem by Mehta Hasmukh Amathaal

I felt pain in heart when turned down her proposal
It was not out right dismissal or disposal
Yet it firmly indicated that I was not her man
She had told number of times that she wanted to be my woman

She gazed at ground at stood silently
She did not reply but heard me patiently
She thought for a second and shook my hand
No problem dear “we can still stay as friend’

I don’t know how much I had hurt her
But certainly it was no good news either
She had banked on me heavily
And now I told her to accept it hurriedly

She tried to look in my eyes but got no clue
Her face tried to look in my eyes and view
I remained stone faced and took no note
As I had already put a hole in her boat

We parted in good spirit but to see if time permitted
I sincerely thanked her and whole blame admitted
Yet there was some hidden pain on her face
She regained composure and did not try to chase

Many years have passed since then I haven’t heard
Not even single message was received or read
It was hard to forget but I was under compulsion
There was uncertainty with lots of confusion

She is pushed far away from my memory
I wanted to feel whole heartedly and express sorry
“No dear, feel no sorry and regret” she could heavily reply
Let past end here and resolve no more to state

I have heard nothing about her since then
I wanted to know about her very often
I saw her one day in luxury car
Even I had little glimpse and was little far

She is better placed person today and doing fine
I am only person to be blamed who tried to undermine
Wracked the relation and brought disrepute to holy relation
She had full faith in me and had accepted equation

There was no bad intention on my part
My inner conscience has stopped me from the very start
I was sure of not doing better in coming days
So I had no other option but to part the ways

She was fully inclined and had known my position
She fully understood the situation but resented disposition
I was gentleman coward in her eyes and no more
She was determined in her approach and merely deplored

* to retrace steps in anticipation is cowardice*