Gift Cards Poem by Jim Yerman

I love receiving gift cards…for restaurants…for bakeries…for our local hardware store…but after opening yesterday's mail…I'm not sure how I feel about gift cards anymore.

The $850 price on the gift card was certainly endearing…but it was sent to me in the likelihood that I've been having trouble hearing.

"Obviously this is a mistake! " I said to myself. "My hearing is quite strong! "
But my name on the front of the envelope proved that I was wrong.

I don't know anything about metrics…at math I've never been that great…but, apparently, people begin to lose their hearing…when they turn 68.

And it seems the Beltone company wasn't just doing me a favor…as their $850 gift card wold imply…they're assuming, after 68 years, my hearing's gone awry.

I am proof, however, once the numbers are crunched and all the calculating's done…what might be true for some…is not true for everyone.

I am embracing getting older…I have no reason to cry or moan or whine…I'm healthy and I'm happy…and my hearing is just fine.

So Beltone if you want to send me a gift card…I think it would be neat…if it was for $850 dollars at the bakery down the street.

I'll buy as many donuts as I can carry, I'll stack them in a dome…
and I'll eat them as I read my next letter…
it's from a funeral home.