Goodbye To The Circus(For Auntie Nellie) Poem by Dónall Dempsey

'Oh! Nellie the elephant packed her trunks and said goobye
to the circus...off she went with a clumpity clump... clump
....clump... clump! The head of the herd was calling...
far far away.'

Auntie Nellie
died of:


drink, loneliness: & whatever...

(not necessarily in that order) .

And the farm that was
our young days summer holidays

cast her
(youth)
like so much pig slop

to the squelching grunt of

cow dung days
moo cow lowing years

until the dust collected and
settled in the corners

no one could reach....


Time left her(like a Holy Picture)
high above the mantlepiece.

See the children take the coloured cards
in their hands
go play 'Fish in the Pool! '

Scream: 'Snap! '

Laugh at who is left to be:

'Old Maid! '

'Not me! '

'Not me! '

Time never took her
hand like a lover's

...touch...

... Time...

...only...

...waited...

, , , for her.

In her loneliness
she read and re-read and lived on:

Aldous Huxley's - ISLAND.

She said...this said:
'Everything! '

Years, later...when she reads
like a fictional character
in someone's story

when time no more
...mattered.

I travelled to her

ISLAND

, , , and touched her

LONELINESS.

...felt her

LONGING

Auntie Nellie died of:
drink, loneliness: and whatever

(not necessarily in that order) .

...said goodbey to the circus...

...calling far far away...



*******

SAD VALENTINES FOR BREAKFAST
(for Auntie Nellie)


Oh my how
red cock struts

(thinks he's a sultan)

striding in and out among
his harem scarum hens

talking to themselves
like some
lost senile sentimental souls

foolish fowl

they lay eggs for gentlemen
and kids on long hot summer
holidays

they hide their eggs like
broken hearts

like old love
letter secrets

safe in unseen
places.

But see Auntie Nellie
willy nilly as a fox

stalk the chickens
and expose them

cruell as the NEWS OF THE WORLD.

See her raid the haystacks
(back seat of the old car)
rain rusting machinery

her apron pregnant
and precious with

the warm and brown
gift of eggs.

Red Cock crows
loud against the morning marigolds

while children's voices
babble sleepily
into wide awakefulness

love letter secrets
staining their lips

sad valentines
for breakfast.


*******

COMING OF AGE
(for Auntie Nellie)


My Aunt & her friends
are wondering (but not
for long) where I’ve gone.

They drink
their bitter lemon
amid the bitter gossip
of their pub’s sawdust & chatter.

I am hidden under
their noses

under their table

masked by the theatrical
tablecloth

amidst a forest
of female legs

that cross

&

uncross

divide

&

come together

in a language of their own.

This is the one time
they can escape

the chores & drudgery
of their all consuming farms.

Knees dimple
& wink

thighs get scratched

get stroked

as they think & talk

stockings get adjusted

slips & petticoats

get smoothed.

I play with my toy
a tiny dinky car

(vivid scarlet)

& try to ignore

the lightning flash of knickers

& the white thunder of thighs.


My eyes glowing with wonder

as I leave childish
things aside.


The dinky lies forgotten

as I emerge
bright eyed

&
more
grown
up


into their grown up
world.

*******

SEAMS? NAY, ‘TIS NOT SEAMS MADAM...IT IS!
(for Auntie Nellie)


My hand trembling
trying to keep a straight face

drawing a seam
down the back of each of my Auntie’s legs

“Keep it straight…keep it straight! ”
she’d shriek

(giggle as it tickled)

I became quite an expert
at it.

Looking over her shoulder
coquettishly

her heavily mascaraed eyes
eying my handiwork
in the mottled mirror.

Her mouth
a perfect pout

a thread of crimson
squealing:

“Good man…good man
my lovely little man! ”

“Perfect job! ”

And then off we go
to Church

& pray to
God.

*******