Gremlins Poem by Paul Buttigieg

I know you have not made your minds up yet
Who I am
Enigma bitter twisted loving and generous
Even I do not know my own mind
I have hidden my depression for a million years
And I know somewhere in my life
To each of you I have been kind

And
Maybe just a bit unkind

I struggle badly with life badly with death
Badly with living
And my own mind gives me nothing

My dream is always to be alone
Yet to be with you
To be with everyone I know and love

For hate is not in my heart - only despair

Am I narcissist as they say I think not?
I'm a lost old soul looking for peace

I love you all and I protect you all
Something I've never understood
I search for gremlins in my life
And I'd explain them if only I could