I Had A Feeling I'd Be A Failure Earlier, A Ghazal Of Kishwar Naheed In Translation Poem by Ravi Kopra

I had a feeling I'd be a failure earlier
I still think I will as I thought earlier

Desires remained unfulfilled, I'm old with wrinkles now
Wounded heart remained hidden in my chest earlier

Tears now come to my eyes for anything
I used to be too calculating earlier

A thorn seems to have been pulled out of my heart
Tears used to flow from my eyes ealier

The gathering these days are just show off
We used to meet in good faith ealier

My thoughts seem like frozen now
I used to be fiery in speech earlier

My loneliness now never leaves me
It never was like this ealier

***
the original ghazal in Urdu

Ham ki maGaluub-e-gumaa.N the pahale

ham ki maghaloob-e-gumaa the pahale
phir vahee hai kee jahaa the pahale

[maghaluub-e-gumaa = defeated by suspicion/doubt]

Khvaahisheau jhurriyaa ban kar ubharee
zakhum seeney meh nihaa the pahale

[jhurriyaa = wrinkles; nihaa = hidden]

ab to har baath pe ro detey hai
vaaquif-e-sood-o-ziyaa the pahale

[vaaquif-e-sood-o-ziyaa = aware of profit and loss]

dil se jaise koee kaantaa nikalaa
ashk aankau se ravaa the pahale

ab faquat anjuman-aaraay hai
aitabaar-e-dil-o-jaa the pahale

[faquat = merely; anjuman = gathering (place)]
[aaraay = decoration]
[aitabaar-e-dil-o-jaa = those who had complete faith]

dosh pe sar hai ki hai barf jamee
ham to sholau kee zubaa the pahale

[dosh = shoulder]

meree hamzaad hai tanhaa-ee meree
aise rishte bhee kahaa the pahale

[hamzaad = born at the same time]

- Kishwar Naheed