Ever since the age of 16
Don't know why I have felt this way
Just not worth a damm at all
Certainly not worthy of a good man's love
So out into the deadly, dangerous hours of the night I go
Searching for that one perfect criminal to make me a
Wearing next to nothing
I taunt and I tease
Pulling at his strings until he has no choice left
He must prove his power over me
Alone and afraid
So very afraid
Afterwards I feel so dirty
So damm dirty
Just like the worse kind of slut
Yet still I feel also a perverse pleasure
Pleasure that he did't listen
Not taking no for an answer
Somehow in some strange way
It makes me feel better
As if I am the one in total and complete control
Makes no sense I know
Still as hard as I have tried to stop myself
Not a sex addict
Don't have some kind of fiendish fetish
This kind of life just feels right
Like this is what the good lord put me here for
To be the instrument to rid men of the evil encasing their
My body in a horror
Bruised, beaten, and bloody
Hates my mind so weak and helpless to resist
Paying off the very worst of my sins
Left alone with a friend when I was younger
Far too loving
Far too eager
To get close to me
I often wonder
Was it his actions that made me this way?
Is it because of him that I am such a freak?
A outcast amoug society?
Yes, sometimes I wonder
Even then did my sinful body
Young but so very well filled out
Did that body lead a good man become a monster?
Yes, if maybe that's why......
I like to be raped
2007 Ramona Thompson
This poem has not been translated into any other language yet.