Jesus Will Come On Christmas Eve Poem by Spock the Vegan

A registered letter arrived at a minister's door
From a Bishop that he had never heard of before
Informing him of a message of high-up business:
That he would be contacted by Jesus before Christmas!
The minister was not just excited but also charmed.
Why was Jesus to contact him? The thought alarmed.

The house was not clean - there was chaos within.
And worse than that - there were signs of sin.
And so a frenzied housecleaning began,
And the filthy magazines were thrown in the trash can.
Scarcely had the cleaning begun when the doorbell rang.
Someone was collecting for orphans so the door went bang.

The minister went to Wal-mart to get more supplies.
He stopped off at McDonalds for a hamburger and fries.
On the corner a man was holding up a sign.
It read 'Homeless - need money so family can dine.'
Panhandling is illegal here the minister thought,
So he yelled, 'Go get a job' as his parents had taught.

The house cleaning was finished; a dinner was prepared.
Steak and salad and all the trimmings; no garnishment was spared.
The best china and silverware were used; the wine was poured.
A feast made for the Master (the minister could afford) .
Presently a knock came at the front door.
Could this be the Christ that the minister adored?

But no! It was an injured soldier that did appear.
'Can you help a hungry vet in this time of the year? '
The man wore ragged clothes and he smelled like beer.
'You're nothing but a drunk - get away, ' the minister jeered
It was Christmas Eve, and time was running out.
At midnight Jesus had not come - the minister had no doubt.

But his Bible lay open with a verse underlined in red.
From Matthew chapter 25, verse 40, this is what it said:
'...Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me.'
After feasting the minister drank all the wine and passed out under the Christmas tree.