Just Leave Poem by Allysyn Bryant

After all this time, Could it still be bothering me?

I found that old picture. Just the four of us.
Of course, I was too young to even remember taking this picture
It's my mother, father, and my brother. All by my side.
To this day it still brings tears to my eyes
Thinking back and wondering why....

This is pointless and in the past. It can no longer hurt me...

But it does. It hurts down to my very sole.
Seeing again what was, what should have been. Then never was.
Still could be they say. But No it's really can't. Truly Impossible.
Father's gone. mothers remarried. Brother's left, on is own.
How could they ever think that it could ever be the same?

With my Father's Lies and Broken Dreams,
The promises he made me,
I'm still waiting for him to keep.
With my Mother pleasantly busy with her new life
With the man she insists on calling my step-dad,
Even though to me he's just Matt.
And With my brother, Hundreds of Miles away
Clear in a State, by now he's forgotten me.

No there's really no way. Not anymore.

Don't know why it bothers me so
I have no reason to complain
I live with a great family, even some related to me
Though I still have this empty feeling, deep inside me.

I can't stand to be alone.

They all left me.

I begged them, all three of them, not to leave me.

Then I blinked and they're gone.

So now whenever someone gets too close
And I know that they're leaving,
I look at them and simply say, 'Just leave'
Just Leave and Leave me be.

Can't handle the goodbyes. Refuse to let them in.
Have a brick wall, tall as the clouds in the sky...
No one is any longer getting inside
So just leave. Cuz my mind is made up. I'll take the lone.

My friends are worried about me.
Where my thought are starting to lead
They'll think that I'll take to the gun...or possibly drugs
I laugh every time. By now one would think they know
I'm stronger then that
A drink here or there, that's just fine, but suicide?
Never. I'm not that weak.

People think I'm giving up. When truly I'm not.
I'm just not letting anyone else hurt me
then they get mad when I don't tell them what I'm thinking
So I tell them with my sly smile, Then Just Leave.

Te three most important people I had, Left me.
Torn me into pieces. I'm not about to let that happen all over again.

If you don't like it, well, then Just leave.
And don't let the door hit you on the way out.

October 26,2008