Could it ever be.....in this sorry life?
Could you be the breath, the sense and the run from the strife? .....the strife of the lost?
Could you unlock the the gates, give the dead the life?
Beyond thy morning, across my sunshine,
the fragrant days of awkward dreams of mine,
there's thy exotic laughter full of sight,
a sound of our names through the windy light.....Listen.
Hear the guitars of intent, of this excel moment
Stinging honest ears, saying my mind.....and yours.....calling souls from depart
but, am I the only one listening?
I love it....'tis so romantic, alluring, enticing. It is a call sorrowfully and soft, strong and irresistible. I can almost see into the speaker's eyes filled with the questioning longing. To refuse, would be so crushing in the face of such a whispering call.
Where do I begin, I hope you take this as constructive criticism. I do not understand how laughter can be full of sight, Or how windy can be light. Excel is used wrong, Calling souls from depart is not a sentence. And fragrant is misspelled if that is the word you intended to use. I am sorry the best I can give you is a 1. Of course you can always delet it as with my previous comments.
A well crafted and poignant write! 10+++ Keep it up, you got what it takes to make it through the Poetry's World, talent! Love and Peace for always! ...
i dont think life is sorry but i like some of your imagery. gayle
Beyond thy morning, across my sunshine, the fragnant days of awkward dreams of mine, there's thy exotic laughter full of sight, Great set of lines. Your poem is very nicely written. Interesting and imaginative. Good write.
an interesting write, good use of imagination. nice selection of words. thanks for sharing
This poem has not been translated into any other language yet.
I would like to translate this poem
I feel you. I really do.