Chandra Hohmann

Love-Like - Poem by Chandra Hohmann

It’s hard playing nice
Without being able to play
Without being able to touch

I know she’s not ready
Neither am I

I know that even if she were
She might not want me

I look in the mirror and it’s easy to see why

But it doesn’t stop that aching burning need
That comes every night as I lie in bed
A sob of frustration and confusion
Slowly welling it’s way up

Or the other slightly sweeter ache
Below my belly

Doesn’t stop the slightly silly smile
That comes when I make her laugh
Or think about making her laugh
Or think about her

Doesn’t stop the pain
When she talks about boys
Refusing to meet my eyes
Refusing to say what I already know

Not for me
For her

Maybe a little for me
I’m only human

I know she’s scared
That they’ll look at her and say she’s not
Not human
Not anything
Ever again

It’s funny
How her fears make me so much angrier than my own

It’s funny how I’m writing this poem when it’s nearly tomorrow
When I should be sleeping
I have school

But she plagues my brain

Like angel kisses turning to hits

Which wouldn’t be so bad
As long as she was touching me

So here I am, just another love-struck teenage girl

Only I don’t love-like who I’m supposed to

Somehow that changes everything.

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Poem Submitted: Friday, June 17, 2005

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