Jafar S B Alam

Rookie (September 21,1982 / Toronto)

Love Poem - Poem by Jafar S B Alam

My heart left...
and so did she.
I don't know whether I should go after her
or after my heart.
So I asked myself,
'self'... 'what do I do? '
Self said: ' Go in search of her,
because you need a heart
in order to find her.
If she's not there,
then what would you do with your heart? '

Distant shadows are moving closer.
Every path I choose, I will see its results.

I made her cry.
So many nights, she wished
that she could drown me in a pool of her tears.

I always showed my face, but never my heart.
She is a voice to my heart.
Her words,
are like sweet melodies that penetrate souls.

And just like that,
she was forgotten.
Like a passing love, and a rose in the night...
she was forgotten.
And as I stood outside and looked at the sky,
with its kohl darkness,
I had never felt so alone.

'Life is beautiful with you',
I wanted to tell her.

I remember when I first saw her...
She was alone,
and I was in front of her beauty alone.

The hours are never the same.
Each minute is a memory.
And what will I write after her to another lover...
if I ever love another?

I used to see her in my dreams often,
and she gave it meaning.
She was healthy and happy.
Smiling.
Her smile made my soul want to fly away.
Eyelashes long.
Lips red like pomegranates.
She was full of life.

I don't see her anymore.
Haven't in a while.
But I pray she's alive and well.
Or maybe she died, because death loves suddenly, like me.
And death, like me, doesn't love waiting.
But for her, I will.
Waiting for hope,
waiting for a lover who,
perhaps,
might not arrive.
Maybe this longing is my way of surviving.
Lovers, the likes of us don't die,
not even once,
from being in love.

She said: ' What will we do with love? Should we take it with us
or leave it behind? '
I said: ' Let it go wherever it wants. It has already grown.'

I pray a moon will rise from my darkness.
And I pray for her,
the salaam of Heaven and Earth.
My soul looks upon my body through her fingers.
We were extensions, of each others soul.

We were two strangers from two far away lands a while ago,
yet
how much of me is you?
Tell me I'm necessary for you, like sleep.
There is no limit to me with you.
I was given your love to subsist on.
And if you ever come back, you'll find what you left here,
waiting for you.

My heart was too heavy for my body,
so I let it go.
Tie a rope around my heart.
Hold on tight.
Don't let go.
Take my hand,
let us laugh the night away.
There was a love that passed through us,
without us noticing,
and neither it knew nor did we.
We will soon return to our tomorrow, behind us,
where we were young in love's beginning.

Our time wasn't enough to grow old together.
Memories of a shy beginning,
put a smile on my face.
Innocence and admiration known,
but not said.
So we let love be unknown,
and the unknown a kind of love.

I am who saw his tomorrow when he saw you.
In the hazel of your eyes, I feel small.
You are loves confession.
Got me love sick.
I like you a whole much of a lot.
You are priceless, and worth nothing.
You remind me of what the world feels like.
And I will be in your history forever.

No one knows what I keep behind my eyes.
She looks at me, like she's looking at me for the first time,
and says: ' You want me to feel regret. There are no tears left in my eyes.'

But she's inseprable from my heart.
My eyelids never close, except that she is between them and my eyes.
To me she is a rose.
A woman who loves my deep brown eyes.
She is a jelly bean.
Hard on the outside,
soft on the inside.

Like seeds dreaming under the snow,
my heart dreams of Spring.
Take me back to the water,
before the storm.
Leave nothing out,
tell me the whole story.

I ride misery through the night,
love sewn in my chest.
Stumbling through the dark,
I failed to see your light.
Now your fire burns me.
May our flames dance again someday.

I'm trying to find answers for questions,
and questions for answers.
Not all those who wander, are lost.
We are those wanderers.

I struggle for sleep
but am denied
by the screams
in my ears,
as they beg,
and yearn,
for your gentle voice again.
They remember a smile in your voice.
'There is no greater sorrow than to recall, in misery, the time when we were happy'
The world aint all sunshine and rainbows...
the mystical realization of our existence.
She was the melody of a weather storming in my heart.
We were luminous silhouettes in moonlight.
She is a rare pearl filled in the inside with many jewels.
She remains precious in my heart.
And there is no other reason, but reason itself.
I was willing to destroy myself,
if it meant bringing her closer to me.
You know this song,
so I don't have to sing it for you.

I could write you forever.

You are as beautiful as a bird filled summer.
My tongue is fragranced with the mention of your name.
Memories of a distant past,
emersing me with emotions...
of a time I once used to love.
What more can I say, that hasn't already been said,
or isn't already known.

Meet me at the crossroads,
so I can have someone to walk with.
'Loneliness is the most terrible poverty'
Often I feel a whirlwind of emotions...
the kind you get when moms and dads fight.
Like those who live in beautiful houses,
but have broken homes.

My heart waited for an eternity to be touched.
I sent kisses to the wind,
hoping the wind would touch your face.
Will we remember
what we forgot
we already knew?

We will fill the book of our life
with brilliant pages.
Whether we are together or not,
you will always have a piece of my heart.

And this kind of love makes you never feel alone,
because we'll always have each other.
The kind of love you can't predict,
a spontaneous combustion of our hearts.

A time will come...

A moment when,
a light will shine through the dark,
when you will no longer have to fill in the blanks,
when we will be free of the worry's of the world,
the moment we learn to love ourselves,
the moment you're ready to share your world.
At that moment...
I will come for you.


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Poem Submitted: Monday, November 29, 2010



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