Magnetic Mandy Poem by Jonathan ROBIN

I wish I were handy as Arthur or Andy.
I ache to be Jake, Jack or Jim,
then there I’d be ready whenever, unsteady
she’d fall for a tall, fat, short 'him'
For calling her bluff’s tough and rough everyday,
there are so many ways for a buff interplay.
None blame her enflaming magnetic advances
for guys’ mettle is me[n]tal and each takes his chances!

Oh Magnetic Mandy
though ever so handy
you’ll burn if you bandy
about with the boys!
Oh Magnetic Mandy
when will you, less randy,
grab well, fine and dandy,
resort more to candy,
all boys are not toys!

Oh Magnetic Mandy.
from France to Iran de-
lightful excuses she often employs.
delectable ruses she shares and enjoys,
as men blow their fuses she chooses coy ploys!

Dear Mandy life’s facts
you need deeper explore?
Take your time and relax
or you’ll start feeling sore!


Relationships sickly you go through so quickly,
who’s choosing, who’s rusing? you skim,
skin deep, like a sweepstake, first laugh and then weep, make
mistakes, who wins, sins on a whim?
and though its exciting with hormones in play
must you rate all the ratings AND Captain today?
Now many fall, when black hole whole swallows?
How many recall then repeat to who follows.

if plane, arched, erect, or horizontal dances,
Few refuse your con…fusion, cued magnetic glances.

Oh Magnetic Mandy
eyes blue and hair sandy,
oh wouldn’t it grand be
instead of the brandy
or gin on the rocks,
you, Magnetic Mandy,
chose lemonade shandy
sought wisdom with Gandhi
Modus operandi
less like weather…cocks?

We don’t want to stifle your urge for an eyeful
a stopper, a whopper, to dampen your fun
but if time you are spending on action unending
we are recommending you stick with just one
for a week, so to speak, till magnetic attraction
spins from pique to mystique and not mental abstraction.
Though waiting’s outrageous it can be courageous
and, too, advantageous, contagIOUS.. I US!

*coda or decode her*

Most magnets rest best on fridge doors,
while pants and vests pressed detest floors,
so do not be sore,
if you would score more,
game on court, in court caught law line draws!

22 March 2005 Parody T.S. Eliot MacCavity and Groucho Marx- Lewdia et al. revised 16 September 2008 verse from France to Iran added