Meshed For Speech 2 Poem by Tatianna Rei Moonshadow

We don't seem to fit together
There are so many differences I can see
I Need A Believer
And you need someone to make you believe
I want a hopeless romantic
With a slightly morbid twist
Someone I can run to
That will take away my tears with a kiss
You need someone gentle
And I'm aggressive to no end
You want only a lover
But I'm looking for someone who is also a friend
We're complete polar opposites
And opposite are our dreams
Your looking for a way out
And I'm looking for someone who won't leave
I never find you there beside me
During the long night, alone, I find it hard to sleep
I'm still looking for my believer
And your still looking for anything to believe

I dropped to my knees and cried for you
How was it so easy for you to walk away?
I took my own blood in form of payment
For a price I never should've had to pay
All of the lies I've already accepted
But you still don't see me as good enough
All of your sins and all of my pain I've already forgiven
But apparently you still don't care to acknowledge my love
I've cried for you until my throat was wrong
But you don't even want to hear me speak
I gave you every last fiber of my being
But you don't even seem to remember me
I wore your ring across my throat
But you don't care that you wore my key
I made myself only and forever yours
But you act as if you never knew me
I suffer for you at this very moment
But all you do is turn your head and look the other way
Each and every line of every poem is written for you
But you don't care that I have something to say
How did you get so good at being so cold?
After all those many months we spent together?
Our memories haunt my dreams as well as my waking thoughts
For I Meant It When I Said I Would Belong To You Forever

Was it foolishness to dream
When you weaved those dreams so well
Was it foolishness to care
For the angel that I found in Hell
Can you say that I was too trusting
Because I gave you my heart
Was it so wrong to believe your lies
The ones that tore me apart
Its easy to believe
When its just what you want to hear
You were so good at spinning out promises
That brought me to tears
Forever was your best deception
It was my most favoured lie
The one that took me by the heart
Only to rip me up inside

That nothing is as it seems
I don't want to believe it
That you of all people could be so cold
But the more I'm forced to see it
The more I slowly turn to stone
You are the reason for my breaking heart
That no longer seems to beat
Shattered from the lies and illusions
And promises you never intended to keep
Everyone keeps on telling me
To walk away and forget your name
But no matter what anyone says
My devotion stays the same
Even though you don't belong to me
I belong to you and no one else
You erased every single emotion
That I have ever felt
For anyone but you
You made yourself my entire life
And when you walked away I realized
That My Life Was Just Another Lie

There's nothing left to love
And there's no air left to breathe
There's nothing left to feel
And no words left to scream
Not even a goodbye is appropriate
Silence Fits this time of my walking away
I didn't understand at first
How we'd succumbed to slow decay
But I know who I am now
Without you I've become strong
You expected me to lay down and die
But heart break can only kill us for so long
Now I'm not looking back
I'm giving you the same harsh reality you gave me
I'm not giving you any second chances
My new found wings have set me free
I'm over what we were
Because I don't hold on to lies
Don't convince yourself I'm in denial
I have nothing left to deny
You're the one who broke promises
And it is you who has to pay
From here on out I forget that you existed
And until the day I die I'll remember you only as a game
I'm sorry to say that I do not miss you
But I'm sorrier yet that I don't love you at all anymore
Though I don't know why I'm still apologizing to you
When you're the one with things to apologize for

Someday I'll forgive you
I didn't before though everyone thinks I did
I'm sorry to have to be this blunt
But I'm not okay with you and I'm still pissed
Yes I'm happier now without you
I enjoy being able to pretend we never met
At 11: 11 I still wish you'd choke
The I turn on the news but the headlines never tell me you're dead
Someone else is in my life now
And he makes me smile like no other before
He does things that you could never do
Because of him I realized I don't even miss you anymore
You broke apart who I was until there was nothing left
Than I picked back up and became someone new
If you hadn't ripped out my heart I wouldn't have accepted him now
So the person I thank for showing me the way to him is you

No longer do I cry for you
I've decided that I must walk away
The bleeding has stopped and the would is now only a scar
Even if that price was not supposed to be mine to pay
All the lies I have forgotten
I no longer see you for me as a man good enough
All of the pain you cause me I've abandoned
And I have decided that you aren't worthy of my love
The cries that once made my throat raw are silent
I no longer have any words for you I wish to speak
I've taken back the person I always was
Without you I am free to just be me
I've given back your rings
And I have taken back my key
I lied when I said that I would wait for you
And to be honest I don't care that you ignore me
Never again will I suffer for you
Please leave me be and walk the other way
I'll never find any inspiration in you again
So now there is nothing left to say
I've learned very well from you how to be this cold
I've adapted to a more frozen emotional weather
You are no more than a dusty, packed-away memory to me
For I Didn't Mean It When I Said I Would Belong To You Forever

(another mesh of my work for speech)