Michelle Michelle Poem by Stephanie N Kjarbaek

Michelle
by Stephanie Kjaerbaek
Michelle pushed her long auburn hair out of her face. Her dark cobalt blue eyes stared up at the screen above her bed. The television was mountd on the ceiling, and she stretched her head to see the picture. Her contacts were out and she could't find her glasses, so she squinted. The news focused on earthquakes in California and mud slides in Southern British Columbia.
This type of news bored her. She wanted to hear about music and environmental protests. Unable to turn up the volume, she listened attentively and thanked the heavens that she had a private room. Other patients were distracting. Her parents' extensive private insurance got her the best psychiatric, dental, medical, optometric, and podiatric overage.
A picky eater, her parents had arranged for the daily arrival of cheese-only Vegetarian pizza and Dry Garlic Ribs with eight liters of Clamato Juice, as she hated the hospital food. Michelle ate once a day and refused to eat vegetables. Her main beverages were Clamato Spicy, Black Coffee, Orange Pekoe tea with milk, and Margaritas.
She stared knowingly at the television, which was her main source of information. Attempted scrawls at legible writing appeared on half-scrunched piece of white paper on the table by her hospital bed.
The television screen was medium in size, about 45 inches by 18 inches. The panoramic look to the screen added to the hegemony of the nightly news report on the local channel. Michelle looked for a channel changer, but there was none by the bed or on the table. She watched the news report and felt bored by the one channel.
The acid crash had fed her paranoia in the forest, so her family had packed up her and sent her to the psychiatric ward at the local hospital. There was a waiting list for rooms.
Registered as a patient in overflow, the staff elected to admit her into the pediatric ward and list her as a general health patient. Michelle enjoyed the sounds of screaming patients in the ward, and disliked the sound of screaming babies and children.
The pediatric ward was often used to provide hospital beds to patients from other wards with overflow status. Overflow meant that policy required them to be admitted as soon as possible in any ward.
She had thought of faking her own death, so that she could take off to the Cayman
Islands with Kenton. An aggressive lover and scuba diving instructor, she felt he would
help her get through the rescue diver course. Her plans to scuba dive in shark territory
while on acid had been discovered through the readings of her illegible diaries.
Food was about to arrive in ten minutes. She shut off the television and began
playing her two Ghettoblasters. One tape played 'Light My Fire' by the Doors, and the
other played 'Everywhere' by Fleetwood Mac. Michelle hated the Doors and would listen
to them along with Fleetwood Mac, owing to some issue with the low-fi monotonal
quality of their first album that she perpetually complained about, though she liked 'The
Crystal Ship when I played the song to her.
The girl chased after
> Michelle with her two black sneakers in her hand. Elaine had
>never seen her before, but then again, Elaine was
> Michelle's only female friend. The other girls she knew
> were sexual playthings over a ouija board. Michelle licked
> the mustard off the side of a large kosher dog, removed the
> sauerkraut, and tossed it into the garbage. She checked
> again for the grilled onions, but noticed only a few raw
> onions.
>"I ordered a well-done kosher dog with grilled
> onions and mustard only. There are raw onions and sauerkraut
> on this dog, " she snapped as she held up the pieces of
> offensive onion in her hand.
>"The smell is disgusting, " Elaine commented.
> "The hot dog is not well-done but burnt. I imagine the
> cook forgot about the dog on the grill and let it cook too
> long. The edges around the side are black. Why don't you
> take the dog back and ask for a replacement or
> refund? ".
>"I wonder what the cook was doing with his right
> hand while this dog was cooking to a burnt crisp like a bad
> piece of toast. I suspect he was probably masturbating with
> one hand and smoking a cigarette with another. My
> familiarity with Denny's cooks in the bathroom and around
> the back of the restaurant has familiarized me with their
> cooking tendencies. I always know what one of the crew is up
> to in a restaurant if the food arrives burnt, " Michelle
> announced sardonically.
>"Are you taking back the hot dog? " Elaine
> asked her. "You could just ask for dog done the regular
> way, plain, with the fixings on the side. It would be harder
> for them to get the order wrong."
>"No, I will just eat the hot dog and forget the
> rest, " she said. "I toss away what is not suitable
> to me. It is not like I can't afford another hot dog. I
> rarely eat these things."
>"There are probably too many other types of dogs in
> your mouth for you to find room for this one, " I
> suggested. "The boys at the Royal Ann keep you
> busy."
>"That is right. The boys at the Royal Ann keep me
> busy. I have a wide selection of dogs accompanies by large
> glasses of Kool-Aid and Sangria, " she stated.
>"What is Kool-Aid? " Elaine asked her, assuming
> she was not referring to the powdered cancer agent that
> passed for a drink mixed with water during my youth.
>"Kook-Aid. Sorry, " she said and laughed
> hysterically while her speech trailed off. "Kool-Aid is
> served in an old-fashioned glass and has amaretto, slow gin,
> vodka, and triple sec in it. Your husband Allan makes a
> version that also includes Southern Comfort, Curacao, and
> raspberry-flavored vodka in it, and that is in addition to
> the first four ingredients. Some Sprite and Orange Kool-Aid
> is added for flavoring."
>"And you are still alive and breathing after
> drinking one of these concoctions? " Elaine asked her.
>
>"I can handle two to four of them at a time, "
> she stated. "Kelly O'Bryan's has their own version
> of a Kool-Aid. Johnathan Segal's doesn't carry them, but
> the bartender will make one off the menu and on the house
> for me whenever I bring a crowd or four or more in and they
> order something."
>Elaine suspected that if someone replaced the alcohol in
> her father's drinks with antifreeze, he would probably
> fail to notice and drink the toxic mess, anyway. She had
> never tried and never intended to, but some of the people he
> hung out with struck as people who could not read or tell
> the difference between the bottle of antifreeze on the
> shelf, which rested by the banana-flavored rums and vodkas
>
>Her father fondly collected for specialty drinks. Elaine
> vowed to move the anti-freeze to the storage cellar when I
> got back home. She needed room for blotters of acid for her
> LSD party on Saturday, her introductory party before the
> social season began.
>Uncertain if she was being sarcastic or honest, Elaine
> ignored her comment and wrote off hot dogs out of
> restaurants and food trucks. She fondled the split dog with
> her hand and blew on the surface to cool it off. She then
> lopped off the head and ate the rest. The bun, tossed into
> the garbage, rested on top a discarded chicken burger,
> ripped tickets, foil, and newspapers.
>Michelle noticed that her predator had two objects in
> her hand. She had removed them before she started running.
> The black four-door Ford Probe we had arrived in was at the
> end of the parking lot, since the May Days fair was popular
> and crowded, as usual. Her two drivers rushed to her side
> and demanded that she come with them.
>"I am not worried. I never slept with her
> boyfriend. We hung out a few times, that's all, "
> Michelle insisted.
>"They are coming closer. Who are these
> people? " I asked her, concerned about an angry barefoot
> hoodlum with swinging sneakers headed our way, about 100
> yards from us.
>"I knew her boyfriend after they broke up
> temporarily at Easter Break. He knew me from Boucherie
> Secondary before I transferred to Rutland Senior for better
> access to drugs, so we are old friends. I hung out with him
> occasionally on spring break. We went shopping and played
> basketball, " Michelle shrugged.
>Michelle proceeded to discuss her list of sexual
> adventures over the last two months. She acted like she was
> at a cocktail party and not at a festival with violent
> protesters headed her way. Elaine wondered if she had been
> too drunk at the time to remember the sexual escapade she
> had engaged in. Her complexion turned a certain pink tone
> whenever she came across a man she had previously slept
> with. Elaine noticed the bright underlying tone along her
> cheeks, under her tanned olive skin.
>The predator made some comment about asthma and asked
> for assistance. After two minutes, Michelle said she was
> going to check on tickets a and iced teas. She headed for
> the ticket kiosk to the right of the platform. The predator
> huffed and puffed on her knees for another two minutes
> before she caught her breath. Once she raised her head, she
> caught a glimpse of Michelle in line for tickets.
>As soon as she saw Michelle standing around with Elaine
> and others, chatting as usual about her long list of sexual
> conquests with the ticketer, the girl recognized her, caught
> her breath, and called on assistance from male family
> members. Her dark hair floated on the wind. Michelle puffed
> on a cigarette and inquired about 10 tickets for $15 instead
> of the usual $25. A stunned look came over her face when the
> predator grabbed onto the rail by the ticket kiosk and
> looked up at Michelle.
>"You slept with my boyfriend. I saw the two of you
> together three weeks ago. It started last November,
> didn't it? " she yelled.
>"Excuse me, I am busy here. Ignore her, " she
> said to the ticketer. "Now if each of us bought fifteen
> tickets, would there be a bigger discount than $5
> off? "
>Michelle's charm usually got her what she wanted.
> She was the perfect actor and opportunist. I admired that
> quality until she used it against me. The predator still
> struggled with her breath and held onto the rail. Her dark
> cobalt blue eyes spread open like her thighs before entry.
> This time, she looked surprised instead of thrilled. I am
> not certain about the sexual look as I passed on watching
> her homemade videos.
>"I am going to kill you! I will! I will! " she
> screamed at the top of her lungs as an animalistic look came
> over her.
>"Who are you? " Michelle asked her as she
> rubbed a mosquito bite on her thigh. The temperature felt as
> though it had gone up another five degrees.
>"I am the girlfriend of Scott. You slept with him
> over spring break last month. I saw you two eating hot dogs
> together, or was that at May Days? " she stated.
>"Now it is May Days. I only ate a hot dog with him.
> We are friends. I thought he dumped you back in February.
> That is what he told me, " Michelle commented.
>The girl debated if she wanted to kill, claw, or maim
> Michelle. Thoughts of blood ran through her dark brown eyes.
> Her skin turned blue and then pink. Her dark eyes bulged out
> of their sockets with rage and anger. Michelle felt her
> pulse rise and for once, took someone seriously instead of
> brushing their behaviors off as jealousy. She gave the sheet
> of tickets back to the ticketer, grabbed her purse, and ran.
>
>Elaine looked over, startled and yet hardly surprised.
> Fate would have it that Michelle's sexual past had
> caught up with her. Her long list of casual one-night stands
> and string of affairs had wrecked many relationships,
> including her own, over the years. Elaine spotted the
> baseball bat. Four large men came running after her. She
> took off and called out to Michelle to follow her as she
> looked back. The rest of their entourage ran to the car, in
> order to avoid the smashing in of headlights and the front
> glass before the dashboard.
>One of their entourage headed to the culprit's car
> and began smashing in the headlights and hood. Elaine and
> Michelle heard the crushing of a car. A few seconds had
> passed when all chaos and hell broke loose. The crowd
> cheered and ran towards both of them. Elaine reached the car
> and looked behind her. The girl had grabbed Michelle by the
> hair and dragged her down, but she shoved her long red nails
> in her face and scratched her up. The girl let go and
> Michelle got up and ran to the car. The rest of her
> entourage gathered around her and blocked off the crowd.
> Elaine started the engine. She had a key to the car and back
> the car out, with the left side door open. Michelle jumped
> in. Two of the three members of the group got in. They took
> off from the parking lot and headed down Springfield Road.
>
>"Who was that? " Michelle said as her cobalt
> blue eyes grew large and unreadable. Her face lit up like a
> firecracker. A certain cartoonish look came over her, as if
> she were in an episode of Ren and Stimpy. Her eyes were also
> large from the pot brownies she had eaten earlier.
>Back at the festival, the girl continued to shout.
> Unaware that Michelle had left, she continued to look for
> her. She raised her fists in the air as if she were an
> angered Billy Idol or Bruce Springsteen fan at a rock
> concert. I could have filmed her at that moment. She stood
> on the raised plank in the middle of the May Days fair.
>The raised wooden platform rested near some concesssion
> stands, with the ticket office 100 yards to the right. A
> bonfire burned in the distance. Elaine thought of this and
> was curious how someone managed to light a bonfire legally
> within three hundred yards of a summer fair. The guy they
> left behind called her up and discussed the matter on her
> emergency cell phone, demanding that she return. Michelle
> instructed her to put her foot on the gas and drive around
> for two hours while she figured out what to do.
>Elaine fell asleep during the afternoon movie.
> She thought of her last sexual encounter. Michelle spread her legs out until
> her toes touched Elaine's. Her toes aligned with her
> ankles, shins, and lean thighs into a perfect triangle. She
> found the diamond position unacommodating to her purposes.
>
>"I learned this position in yoga. Just bend your
> legs out in both directions and lean over a few times from
> the back. Let your spine flow over the legs. Center yourself
> in the middle and bring your head down to your stomach while
> you pull your navel to your spine. Stretch your arms in a
> straight fashion forward until you reach your toes. When you
> do this a few times, your toes will stretch out to reach
> mine, " Michelle instructed her.
>"I see you have returned to yoga lessons, "
> Elaine commented as she practiced the move a few times.
>"Don't worry. I have books on tantric yoga as
> well if you need pictures and diagrams. You will have to
> hold that position for awhile, " Michelle insisted.
> "I have plans for you with my tongue. What was the
> nickname? "
>"Poofy, that is what my other girlfriends called
> it, " Elaine announced innocently.
>Michelle recoiled at the term girlfriend. She giggled to
> herself about her name until she took a close look. Her
> contact lenses had been bothering her eyes and she hoped
> they stayed in while she was between Elaine's legs.
> Elaine had instructed her to shorted her nails for the
> occasion of their rendezvous. Michelle sported a red
> manicure trimmed down to the nail tip.
>"Hello, Poofy, how are you? Are you going to puff
> up soon? " she teased Elaine.
>Her yoga instructor had shown her other useful yoga
> positions when she had complained about the lack of intense
> stretching, unaware of Michelle's underlying motivation.
> She preferred the Kama Sutra or tantric yoga to 101 sex
> positions on a sheet, sold on the street by vendors
> alongside food trucks with poutine and tacos. Not that she
> did not own a copy, but she preferred other resourches.
>The summer sun had tanned her golden skin toa rich
> olive and highlighted her long chestnut hair with mahogany
> highlights. She tossed her hair out of her face and looked
> over Elaine's naked body.
>Elaine had stretched her pale blonde legs to match
> Michelle's, but she was slightly taller, so Elaine
> struggled to match her length. Years of hip-hop dancing and
> gymnastics training had built up her length and flexibility.
>
>Michelle bent her back down until her back reached the
> floor. Her tongue touched the planchette of the ouija board
> between the two of them. She moved the planchette around
> with her tongue. The spirits, aroused by one of their
> favorites, cheered violently at the arrival of her presence.
> The planchette accidentally struck the edge of a porcelain
> plate lined with brownies, which Elaine had brought.
> Michelle was incapable of boiling potatoes.
>She finished off the last of the double chocolate hash
> brownies with mountain icing, wiped off her mouth, and then
> dove into Elaine's thighs. The planchette moved around
> continuously in a figure eight fashion. Elaine moaned and
> sunk into sexual oblivion and pleasure for the next twenty
> minutes. Suddenly, she woke up with a start. The images
> haunted her like a VHS tape that repeated the same scene
> over and over.
>The clock read 4: 30 in the afternoon on a late
> day in July. She felt like that line in a Tom Waits'
> song, Falling Down, about stealing and not getting caught.
> She had siphoned off the acid tabs from the dealer after she
> negotiated some pot and he was not looking. Elaine
> wasn't really the type to steal, but she hesitated to
> help herself to her father's acid collection, and the
> blotter was unfamiliar to her. Afraid she would unleash a
> megadose onto stamps, she stole the tabs off the dealer when
> he wasn't looking.
>The tabs, hidden under the couch pillows, rested in the
> spot where she and Michelle had made out. Michelle rarely
> kissed anyone. She usually jabbed her long, jagged tongue
> down someone's throat. Elaine enjoyed this risque
> activity, and always played a boring movie like Jacob's
> Ladder when she came over for some weekly frisking. Her
> hands slipped down between both of their legs, and she went
> back and forth between the two until the moaning stopped and
> the climax arrived.
>
>The thought ran through her mind as she waited for the four
> tabs she had taken to take effect. Space cakes were her
> usual indulgence. Wayne's World had played before the
> present film. She found the actors annoying but enjoyed the
> music. Grunge rock lacked appeal to her. She usually put on
> rave or r&b in her headphones and drowned out the
> constant sounds around her.A documentary about a seventies
> rock band came on. She mistook the documentary for a film.
>
>Elaine watched the scene in the film repeatedly, amused
> and haunted by the imagery. She pushed her dark honey blonde
> hair out of her face. The film showed a long-haired blonde
> man on a balcony with a bottle of champagne. The sun was
> rising over the valley. He graced his fans with his presence
> and shouted all sorts of epithets about himself. The scene
> was followed by the image of two young fans on another
> balcony. They jumped off the balcony and into the swimming
> pool four floors below.
>The acid started to affect her judgment. Images changed
> colors and images. Cars that drove by through the window of
> the kitchen appeared softer and more oval in shape. They
> moved more slowly and failed to stop at intersections when
> the lights changes. She was uncertain what was real and what
> was fantasy. She saw the light dancing towards the darkness
> in the afternoon breeze. It felt like a few minutes but a
> few hours had passed. She stared at the analog hands on her
> watch and concluded it was five in the morning. Concerned
> she had missed the party, she lept out of her leather seat
> before the television and walked across the living room to
> the patio.
>Her hand forced the screen door open. Slightly broken
> after too much handling by uninvited guests desperate for a
> drink or the bathroom, she usually struggled with the door.
> This time, her hands felt strong and she forced the screen
> door open. The cat escaped quickly and jumped across the
> balcony over to the bush, where she hid and watched for
> birds.
>Elaine took a look at the pool and saw the glistening
> waters that changed from jade to blue and back again. The
> waves sometimes rose up and down like an ocean. She walked
> over to the edge of the pool and stood on the edge, about
> two inches from the drop-off of the side. The pool had
> previously been empty but she assumed her father had filled
> up the pool with liquids.
>The absence of the usual chlorine smell would have been
> a dead giveaway but she laughed hysterically and shook her
> head. Her black dress heigtened the subtle curves of her
> body and showed off her tan. She had long legs for a girl
> who stood 5 feet 4 inches tall. Modelling had eluded her,
> but she was welcome to appear in plays at the local actors
> studio, the Kelowna Dinner Theatre Club.
>Fleetwood Mac's Hold Me began to play loudly on the
> stereo system. Only four of the invited thirty guests had
> arrived. It was five in the evening and Elaine had failed to
> take up her duties as a host. When she entered back into the
> hosue and descended the stairs of the three-story duplex,
> the assumption was that she was preparing food and party
> favors for them. She usually gave an annoucement twenty
> minutes into her parties, and so when she appeared at the
> attic window, the assumption was that she was going to give
> an inpromptu speech to her guests.A few others arrived
> with gifts and beer.
>She appreciated the gifts over the books of complex
> Greek poetry, socialist rhetoric by Marx and Engels, and the
> classic Russian writings of Tolstoy, Nabokov, and
> Dostoevsky. Elaine recognized she was hardly a brain and had
> worked diligently with the help of a learning assistant at
> Sylvan to bring her C average up to a B.
>She had instructed her friends to bring her other items:
> artsy knick knacks for the kitchen and living room,
> chocolate, hair supplies, clothing, perfume, movie tickets,
> and tickets to plays. She also instructed them to bring
> Sangria and beer over the classic French Malbecs and Syrahs
> they brought along. Except for the occasional glass of Pinot
> Grigio or champagne, she found the flavors of most wines too
> complex. Beer and cider were more to her calling, usually
> accompanied by the best of space cakes and hash brownies
> that money could buy. Champagne and hash were her real
> indulgent weaknesses.
>The complexities of literature escaped her limited
> imagination. Her courses in modeling and acting at Barbizon
> back in Seattle, before she and her Canadian father moved
> back, had thrilled her. She still missed Seattle sometimes,
> and had enjoyed the streets and openness of the place.
> Still, she preferred the sun and lake to the cool and human
> Puget Sound weather, but visited her friends for a week
> every year in the summer. The trip was planned for late
> August, before she entered the hairdressing program at the
> local college.
>Elaine had wanted to maintain her acting lessons twice a
> week at the actors' studio, but each hour cost $75. Her
> father, initially supportive, had cut her off when her
> mother refused to part with any more of her income to help
> out now that Elaine was on the verge of turning eighteen.
> Her mother felt that she should avoid exorbitant expenses
> and look for a job.
>She had taken the route of lessons at the recommendation
> of her acting coach, who had advised her that her roles
> would be limited without any acting experience or lessons.
> Once she had abandoned the two-year program, she resorted to
> working as a server or volunteer when not optioned for a few
> lines as a filler in a substandard part if only to get a
> little experience.
>The head of the actors' studio had warned her that
> without the training, she was unlikely to get any lead or
> significant supportive parts. He also pointed out her lack
> of experience in singing, musical theatre, and dance, which
> were essential components of many plays like Oklahoma! and A
> Streetcar Named Desire. He recommended her as a volunteer or
> assistant to the prop director over acting.
>Sometimes, Elaine thought of the sex she had engaged in
> with Michelle, and often felt like rapturous hypnosis.
> Though she dated men, she quite enjoyed sex with women.
> Michelle's constant attention to her revolving door of
> black boyfriends had daunted her somewhat, until she had
> decided that a sexual rendezvous in the absence of any
> significant boyfriend was fine.
>She considered herself to be heterosexual as a main
> course, with a little lesbian lust on the side. Michelle was
> her occasional dessert. She wondered what would happen
> tonight. Now she looked over her crowd of six and envisioned
> sixty. The pool, empty and devoid of water, looked cold with
> its waves of blue and green water. She noticed how the color
> of the water changed.
> 　
>