Mistuh Pahtillah Poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar

The name doesn't describe a gorilla.
Or startle with facts,
Like an action drama that is also a thriller.
I can get quite silly when pronoucing my name...
Since those I'm related to
Pronounce my last name,
Like they think they should
And some do as a game!

Pahtalier, Pahtilla, Pahtalah, Purtiller.
Puerteller, Pertillar, Partiller, Pertillaaah.
And giving me what they think I need...
Either long stares or a quick flash of a nod!
To confirm approval or something else odd!
It is so comfortable to be
In a peace of mind that lets things be!
When someone stops to ask,
'Where the hell you get that name from? '
I will gather my dignity then respond...
With my heritage light on!

I am not my name!
The one I was labelled with!
Nor am I a game.
I wont be annoyed intentionally.
Not for the shame of it to this degree!

You can call me and suggest
How best I can put my right foot forward!
Followed by my left!
But the name that you call...
Has to suit to protect our peaceful walls!
That's all!

I'm not looking through you...
As you look as if you can throw me away!
You have strayed away from getting too tender.
Your ancestors made me and those like me,
The one you once abused worse than any enemy!
And forgiveness has made a few of us friends...
Again!
But then again...
I am not my name!
The one I was labelled with!
Nor am I a game.
I wont be annoyed intentionally.
Nor make further wishes
That you should look deeper
Into me and 'see'! ...Me!

Call me what you wish!
But if you think I deserve more respect!
The kind you believe I don't often get.
'Mister Pahtillah' will do fine!
That will put you on my good side...
And we will be in the same frame of mind.
'Mistuh Pahtillah' will do fine!

And someone with a thought or two,
Will begin to think they know me...
And/or you too!
'He think he is Fabulous and Phat!
He thinks he can do anything...
And be All That!
He thinks he could become
A very wealthy man!
Skipping far ahead of the red sign
Dipping his mind on 'trappings' for this 'cat'!
Black and hospitable!

He has known he knew himself inside.
He doesn't need to be labelized.
What he knows is what he does...
And he does it to do it well!
And for me that name means family.
Some may someday 'get it'
And get with it! Or forget it.

Others never cared.
And that should be obvious...
To those aware!
Much of what we have...
Did not come from 'over there! '
Is there something being done,
About what it is that get's in your hair?

I am not my name!
The one I was labelled with!
Nor am I a game.
I wont be annoyed intentionally.
Not for the shame of it to this degree!

'Is this microphone turned off? '
I'm getting scannings and stares.
Nothing is showing in these eyes...
And nothing said is being recognized!
I can't even tell if any of them are aware
I am up here and in their faces.
And few of them make eye contact.
Although attracted they are...
But not to me!
'Is this microphone on? '

I am not my name!
How do I get them...
Inside of me,
To touch?
How is that broken down?
Let's take off our masks,
And throw them onto the ground!

Perhaps with that task...
We will see reflected,
A familiarity accepted!
Something once rejected...
Is now being suspected
That it should be inspected closer.

Call me what you wish!
But if you think I deserve more respect!
The kind you believe I don't often get.
'Mister Pahtillah' will do fine!
That will put you on my good side...
And we will be in the same frame of mind.
'Mister Pahtillah' will do just fine!

I am not my name!
Nor am I a game...
To play losing whims!
With those who can't decide...
Whether to be a Fee Fi or a Foe!

And someone shouts out,
Holding up their right hand...
I have three.
I have four.
And also five.
And he runs closer
'Mistuh Pahtillah...
I played three fo's last night!
That needs to come out! '

They call me Mistuh Pahtillah!
Mistuh Pahtillah.
They call me Mistuh Pahtillah!
I am not my name but they call me,
Mistuh Pahtillah...Mistuh Pahtilluh.
Mistuh Pahtilluh.
I am not my name but they call me...