My Disease(Revised, And Title Changed) Poem by Ace Of Black Hearts

Speaking straight from the heart.
When your world falls apart, who do you turn to?
Who is your angels with wings?
With every new day comes a new mystery that needs solving.
Answers are not opinions, but major decisions.
Here is another one.
Like candy I'm handing them out.
For if I can't fix this place, maybe then I can at least I can fix myself.
The need to be needed.
I'm bleeding on the bedroom floor and I've been here before.
It's the power of my own self destruction.
My reluctance to let anyone else in.
For I live in sin and I feel so dirty.
I just can't get clean.
Words so obscene can't even describe me.
For I've got multiple personalities.
Major mood swings.
From happy, upset, depressed, angry, to absolutely crazy.
So many emotions swimming in my head.
Death I welcome most days.
I'd offer him a drink but I don't feel I have the time or he will stay.
Got to keep moving so that for moment I feel slightly normal.
Living a life that actually makes sense.
Yeah right, I'm swimming in a false pretense.
A naive narcissist that's what I am.
Or maybe I'm just one of the dammed.
Fighting for nothing but my self preservation.
Knowing no luxury.
Cooped up in a hole.
Waiting for that one chance.
I got to prove something.
I just don't know what it is.
And that's kind of screwed up.
Picking fights cause what I want I can never have.
And I probably don't even deserve any of it.
If I don't judge myself who will.
Tried by your peers will never measure up.
To much bias every which way.
So here I am tell me what you think.
Tell me what you hate about me.
It might give me a reason to celebrate.
It won't change anything.
Cause no matter what my actions are I'm still not the better man.
I'll lose the fight before you can get one word in.
It's just who I am.