Lance Carthen

Rookie (4-10-81 / Mineral Wells, TX)

My Suicide - Poem by Lance Carthen

As I walked over a hill in my dream...
a graveyard came into view.
A circle of people all dressed in black...
stood silent, not one of them moved.
As I got closer, suddenly I realized...
What I am seeing, couldnt be true.
There sprawled at their feet was a naked, dead body.
Its skin was dry and blue.
As I stood there shocked, in stunned disbelief.
I realized their eyes gazed now upon me.
What I saw in their eyes..I couldnt beleive.
They were all glowing a dark, eerie green.
I felt as if I couldnt move as if my legs were locked.
They started moving slowly towards me.
I prayed, lord wake me up, please make this stop.
They were now so very close, I tried but failed to scream.
They came to halt right before my still body.
Oh my god...this isnt...a dream.
Opening my eye's in horror, I saw a letter fall from the sky.
Before hitting the ground, its started to float becoming level with my face.
The words seemed to be written in blood that had long since dried.
Almost unreadable, quickly it had been written, clearly in haste.
I cant take this pain.
I cant bear the shame.
The life I knew is gone.
Death is the only way.
The letter ended after that fourth crusted line.
I saw a signature at the bottom of the page.
I cried out in fright as I realized fast, that the name was mine.
Weve come for you said a thousand voices, coming from everyway.
The people in black lifted me from the ground.
Slowly they carried me away.
I saw a dark shadow, like a swirling hole, emerge upon the sky.
In it I could hear a million screams...
Drowned by a million cries.
It's now obvious these people arent as they seem.
Their human faces had faded to skulls.
Their teeth had turned from white to green.
I could hear their gleeful laughter...then the dark shadow started to pull.
It felt like a thousand invisible hand's grabbing me.
It was as though they had knives instead of fingers.
All over my body was a violent sting.
As if being bitten by venomous snakes over and over I cried.
The black hole was unrelenting, bringing me towards it oh so slow.
So this is where I go...for committing suicide.
I would have givin anything to go back to my earthly home.
As the last trace of light dissappeared and darkness engulfed.
I awoke with a shudder, sweat pouring from every pore.
As the dream played over in my head I felt repulsed.
There on my night table was a blank sheet of paper and a sharp razor.

Comments about My Suicide by Lance Carthen

  • Melvina Germain (10/19/2006 9:03:00 PM)

    Well that was certainly a rude awakening wasn't it. I hope you understood the message, I sure did. Clearly suicide would never be the answer. You paint a very vivid picture my friend, the imagry is clear and crucial for the reader to understand. Thanks for sharing--Melvina--- (Report)Reply

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  • (10/19/2006 5:39:00 PM)

    A very morbid poem, touching.

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  • (10/19/2006 5:10:00 PM)

    i get excited when i dream about suicides everbody dressess in colourfull cloths
    at my funerals suicide is a dying business


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Poem Submitted: Thursday, October 19, 2006

Poem Edited: Wednesday, October 20, 2010

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