My Thoughts (A) Poem by Melvina Germain

Sharing my thoughts with all of you

In The Present

Many years ago I found myself living life in what I refer to as the fast lane. I'm not speaking of a wild lifestyle though at one time, that too was true. I'm relating to doing simple tasks as fast as I could and doing more than one at a time, commonly referred to as multi-tasking. I remember my husband asking me on more than one occasion, what are you doing? You haven't finished the dishes and now your making the bed and a bucket of water is sitting in the bathroom, Melvina what are you doing? Oh leave me alone, I'm multi-tasking, can't you see that. He couldn't take it, he would leave. He knew he couldn't help me because if I started the task, I had to be the one to finish it, that was my rule so he took advantage of that and went to the coffee house and chatted up his buddies. Later he'd come home and tell me what an amazing job I did and that was the way I did things.

As the years went by, I had no choice but to slow down due to health issues and though that was a harsh time for me, a lesson was unfolding. I learned to do one thing at a time and be happy when one task was finished, stood and enjoyed the finished project. I was in the present with what I was doing and actually enjoying it. I didn't consider it a task, washing dishes became a pleasant time for me. It warmed my hands and took my pain away so I washed them slower and enjoyed the comfort of washing dishes. I often washed dishes at my friends homes. Though I had to slow down out of necessity it was a beautiful time for me.

I also learned through these slow periods that no one can take anything I truly love away from me. They can remove something or someone from me but because my mind has absorbed that which is taken, the essence, the love and the warmth remains with me as if nothing has been taken away from me at all. I think that's why my outlook on death is perhaps different than many. I do grieve and I do miss that flesh body but the spirit is vividly there with me and at will I can feel the warmth of the person who has moved on. It was a slow learning process for me over the years but I'm thankful I was open enough to grasp the beauty of it all and I thank my Father in Heaven for all the amazing gifts he has given me and for all the time He stood by my side uplifting me, teaching me and soothing me.

It is written that the Zen way of life is the way to be and I for one love Zen, I love the peace, the calm and the tranquility of it. I love to bask in my Zen moments enjoying the all. Perhaps I'm a little greedy though, you see when I walk now, I'm doing more than walking, I'm observing, I'm listening and I'm feeling. I call it my Zen Plus.

My Zen Plus walk consists of trees that whisper, birds that sing, flowers blooming, and maybe I'll spot an ant taking a carcass home. I'm in the moment caressed by the wind.
My feelings are soothed, you see it's my walk with me. I'm alone in the field of tranquility.

I'm so enjoying this time of my life, I've learned to let it be. I don't move toward competition, you see it doesn't matter to me anymore who loses or who wins. I learned that beauty isn't the make-up I put on face, nooo true beauty comes from within so I can open the door with my braids or curlers in my hair and smile large at the delivery man.

Each day, I'm trying more and more to be in the present and enjoy what is, not worrying about what was or what will be. Enjoy each day of this life to the fullest everyone. Blessings to you all…Melvina…..