Needy Independentness Poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar

I desire to be called many things,
For several reasons.
I too have needs unlike most.
I too am the host of my own fears,
Unwanted.
Yet they cling.
With a needy independentness.

I desire to be called many things,
For several reasons.
Some may say I invite,
The practice of dysfunctions.

And I must admit,
I do.

I want to understand the 'why' of them.
Not pretend they don't exist.
Although they make a constant appearance.
And not a word has to be heard from anyone...
Familiar with the lengths of these 'visits'.

I want to know the reason people can't let them go.
But then again...
I am addicted to nicotine.
Telling myself I am not hooked,
After more than 50yrs of saying 'cigs' are my best friends.

I desire to be called many things,
With a needy independentness.
I too am the host of my own fears,
Introducing them myself...
With a needy independentness.
I want to understand the 'why' of them.
With a needy independentness.
I just can't seem to put to rest.
And getting rest is the best thing yet.

But then again...
I am addicted to nicotine.
Telling myself I am not hooked.

For several reasons.
I too have needs unlike most.
I too am the host of my own fears,
Unwanted.
Yet they cling.
With a needy independentness.