Tom Billsborough

Gold Star - 89,901 Points (Preston Lancashire England)

No More Camping - Poem by Tom Billsborough

One day,
My canvas tent,
It blew away.
I do not know to what ex-tent.
It briefly flapped like Hamlet's ghost,
Or mizzen sail,
Or some great sea-bird on the gale.
Camping was a sudden non-event.
A nearby stream now broke its bank
And I was stuck
And dank in clinging mud
Like some Jemima puddle duck.
That's why I left those poles apart,
And sodden sleeping bag.
I lit a fag
And then resolved to seek a life of leisure.
A great four-poster was my motto.
A warm bed leasuring my grotto,
And warmer ladies, to be sure.
Come on you Lizzies and you Sadies,
There's room enough for four.
No camping on a treacherous slope.
A horizontal dream is mine. And hope!

Topic(s) of this poem: disaster

Form: Light Verse

Poet's Notes about The Poem

Two sons of a friend pitched their tent advisedly on a slope and were hit by a flash flood. I might add that the nearest I came to camping was a Wigwam in the garden!

Comments about No More Camping by Tom Billsborough

  • Bri Edwards (9/23/2017 12:41:00 AM)

    i assumed your poles apart had to do with tent poles and not:

    be poles apart
    phrase of pole

    have nothing in common.
    synonyms: completely different, directly opposed, antithetical, incompatible, irreconcilable, worlds apart, at opposite extremes
    it would seem that our priorities are poles apart

    fag i understood. not so much (did i understand) left those poles apart, or leasuring. perhaps your were going overboard using poetic license to make an -ing word out of what i would spell leisure.
    is it 'the queen's English' you are using? ? ha ha.

    you'll need more than hope to get 3 or 4 ladies (some Sadies) into bed with you. you may get them in bed, but NOT with 'you'! ! ! keep dreaming.

    i enjoyed most of the lines, especially:

    One day,
    My canvas tent,
    It blew away.
    I do not know to what ex-tent.
    It briefly flapped like Hamlet's ghost,

    to MyPoemList.

    bri :) :) :)
    (Report) Reply

    (9/23/2017 3:33:00 AM)

    I think my poetic licence expired with that one, Bri! I was thinking of the bare poles left standing when the tent decided to say goodbye! They looked so lonely and apart. The four poster bed came from a conversation I had with two American girls as we viewed this ancient four poster bed in a Chateux in France's Loire Valley. Apparently some famous old queen, I think Catherine di Medici, had slept in it. One of the girls piped up Well, I wouldn't fancy sleeping in that tatty old thing!
    To which I replied Well, I'm willing to risk it if you two will. I was lucky to escape without a slap on the face! Naturally I increased the number to four. One of the girls was called Liz. Sadie is of course a cheap rhyme for Lady!

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  • Annette Aitken (9/18/2017 5:10:00 PM)

    Tom, this one made me smile, and I can just see you there lighting up your fag, with the ladies all around you.. A good fun one here.

    Anna x
    (Report) Reply

    (9/19/2017 12:41:00 AM)

    But where would I stub out my ciggy? Mmm.. I remember a Ken Dodd joke. Oh sorry, love, I thought it was an ashtray!

  • Kumarmani Mahakul (9/13/2017 3:50:00 PM)

    Canvas tent blew away and this provoked thought. Disaster brought agony and sadness. We hope still all are fine after hurricane. We offer our prayers for safe living...10 (Report) Reply

    (9/13/2017 4:07:00 PM)

    The alleged high winds last night failed to turn up. Thank goodness. Loved your last poem, Kumarmani, with the five finger image.

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Poem Submitted: Wednesday, September 13, 2017

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