Not My Time To Die Poem by Barry Middleton

maybe by this time next year
I'll know where I must go
but now I would not mind a bit
an expedited show

for I am tired of sleepless night
though not so tired of life
in fact I have two points of view
split by a parsing knife

one part cries out to live again
one part would welcome death
the ambiguity is plain
as stillness or as breath

but I learned many years ago
for me there is no door
I certainly want the pain to end
but know I must endure

soon I will take my morning walk
to see what day might hold
and I will study every clue
for silver and for gold

for treasure fills the summer lawn
in sparkling diamond dew
I hear the laughter of a child
beneath the awesome blue

a red hibiscus drops its bloom
another takes its place
the sun is rising in the east
in its unhurried pace

and so I choose this time each day
to live and breathe a sigh
my ambiguity will fade
it's not my time to die