Oral Enema For Potty Mouth Poem by Ted Sheridan

He must be constipated from a lack of fiber
and backed up with his own debris.
So pusillanimously this little man
makes his best attempt
at relieving his dreaded pain.
He hurts mistakenly everyday
and blames it on someone else.
With his gut twisted so taut
that the profaned excrement
within his hallowed body
must seep from his filthy mouth.
It is all that he expels.
He is incapable of anything else.
He relieves himself whenever
and wherever possible-
with some inappropriate toilet humor.
He stains the corners of every room
repeating his bile comments
about his nemeses and their apparent social order.
His drunken acerbities stink up every party.
His flatulence
is duly noted by the trail he leaves.
And...
everyone recognizes him when they see him
by the toilet paper stuck to his shoe
not to mention his sh*ty attitude.