Painful Joy Poem by Tiffany Rose Moczydlowski

Slipped into the skin
of a stranger.
Unfamiliar eyes.
Almost distorted,
Losing a natural state.
I don't understand,
don't know who I am.

Weight discarded
from my shoulders.
Chains rattle,
clanging to the ground.
Release...
But can I stand up straight?
It's in-preferable.
My posture in
A demented state
is a comfort.

Without my struggle,
what else is left to me?
Without something to fight against,
What is left to keep me standing?
I don't know what else to be.

My mind's disjointed.
My emotions clouded.
Since when was happiness
so unpleasant?
Makes me lose my footing,
tumble now deep down.
Empty.
Recovery?
Sounds like a curse...

Walked headfirst into trauma.
Closed eyes in relief.
'Welcome home again.'
I now know who I am.