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Paradise Never Lost

I once heard that sound which gladden the chambers of my heart
I remember the images I saw through the windows of my gray soul
They were the imprint of my soulmate, that queen I sang for many ages
That Ochanya, the Ihutokum whom I can dance ogriyan and Omagbae
Triumph with drums and trumpets to praise her beauty all night long
She is pure from hate, full of unimaginable love, beauty and grace
She is one in a billion, a teardrop in an ocean, a gazelle in the wild
Her beauty outlive the lilies in Kanji Dam, like the mountain flowers
Full of light, hope and kindness, perfect as though made from stars
From the very soul of her creation she is design to make me happy
How can I forget your walking strides, your magnificent chest
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Saturday, May 27, 2017
Topic(s) of this poem: love and friendship
POET'S NOTES ABOUT THE POEM
Written to capture my undying and unquenchable love for lady Tina...the bestie of all times...I love U lady Tina...
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COMMENTS
Jefferson Carter 27 May 2017
To an American reader (THIS American reader) , this poem is barely comprehensible. Your ESL(?) erors really harm it. I'd suggest you stop writing for a bit until you develop a better mastery of English. And you also might read lots of good contemporary poetry in English (Mary Oliver, Billy Collins) if you're going to improve as a poet. If you'd like, check out my new website: jeffersoncarterverse.com Tell me how you like it. Yrs, JC
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Anthony Onoja 28 May 2017
Nice thanks... I appreciate the criticism will work on that...life is a learning process...and I think U Americans like making others feel inferior...I wrote it in an African way to show the originality in African Culture and Tradition....
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Anthony Onoja 28 May 2017
Thanks for the criticism, I will work on that....But I think U Americans like making others feel inferior...I wrote this Poem in an African way to express the Originality and authenticity of we Africans in the great myth of love: - my love for lady Tina....
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