Patient Enough To Sit Poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar

I sit and wonder,
Why so many choose to move backward?
Why a determination to prove an ignorance is there.
And why,
Would a stagnation provide a cause for their celebration?
And elated in darkness as they chase Sun away.

I sit and wonder,
Why is there glory perceived in hidden self defeat?
Is it the activity that attracts one to constantly weep?
Is it a pride one denies when their weaknesses no longer hide.
Is it the fear of someone despised,
Wanting to clear their path of debris...
To enable them to walk freely outside and,
Be!
With a clarity to 'see' no enemies stalking to wish them ill!

I sit and wonder,
And sometimes I deep breathe to be very still.
Absorbing the peace that comes.
Being available,
Without a single thought as to who might bring me harm.
As I sit in such peacefulness wondering why I feel unique.
And blessed to be patient enough to sit quietly and receive.

I am not unique.
I am not that self indulgent,
To carry around thoughts like within me.
I may be more determined to leave behind,
THAT which brings me sorrow.
Because...
I aint into it!

Nor will I allow myself to borrow agony.
From whiners who dine on it.
I choose not to be weak.
And that alone can be a painful experience,
I know!

I am glad I awakened.
And did not fall back to sleep.
I refuse to be fed from confusing heads.
Those that choose to feed themselves on morbid deeds.
I choose not to be weak!
Because...
I aint into it!