Perpendicular Poem by Irene C S ClarkHogg

When under the affluence of inkerhol,
The body is inclined to fall,
Or react in the most amazing way.
So if you are down, just stay there, I’d say.


Though it is difficult to get home,
If you are drunk and all alone.
Hands and knees might be all you’ve got
But it’s not what I’d recommend a lot.


Folk stand on your fingers, then they curse,
If you trip them up that’s even worse.
If you bring your beer back up again,
Crawling through it is such a pain.


Your progress is greeted with a frown,
And the wife might kick you when you’re down.
She’ll definitely call you nasty names,
And the kids will ask why you’re playing games.


So if you’re feeling a tad peculiar
Do try and stay perpendicular.