Judith Driscoll Bryan

Rais'N Hell At The Bar & Grill

In Trailer Park Zoo, North of Ludlow,
Sue danced to the song on her radio.
Hollered ''Hell, yeah! '' like a true Red Neck,
While kissing her monthly Welfare Check.

Bosoms were hoisted by an up-lift bra.
Her girdled tush looked snugly un-flawed.
Dimpled flesh held taut - by tight Spandex.
Her trailer park key, swung from her neck.

Newly divorced, she guzzled down...
Her last cold beer. Then, headed for town.
Parked her truck at the Bar & Grill.
'A Trailer Park Queen, out for a thrill.'

Hiding away any money she had.
''I'll find a Loser to pay my Bar Tab! ''
She spied two fools, sharing a stool.
T'was Siamese Twins, Jim + Joe O'Toole.

Some-Are Teeth, they grinningly bared.
''Some-are...here and some-are...there.''
Tho' their hideousness caused Sue to stare.
She stuck to them, like a hare in a snare.

On four knees, she sat, drinking''Free Beer! ''
Flirt'n and hug'n and kiss'n their ears.
Trouble began when Joe asked for a dance,
En-raging Jim, cause he wanted first chance.

Two brothers fighting, attached at the groin.
Sue yelled ''Can't yah just... flip a coin? ''
Oops! Too late! All 3 toppled to the floor.
''You %#* Morons.'' she cursed and swore.

Bloodied...+...Bruised...+...Pepper Sprayed,
In handcuffs, the twins were lead away.
Regretting their quarrel with deepest sorrow.
''I hope she returns the $500 she borrowed! ''

Miles away, in the comfort of home,
An idea sparked. Sue grabbed the phone.
''Male Escort Service? Please, send me 3.
I've 500 reasons to...PAR-TEE! ''



Moral? .......... Never loan money to a lady wearing Spandex!

Poem Submitted: Tuesday, May 16, 2006
Poem Edited: Monday, July 26, 2010

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Comments about Rais'N Hell At The Bar & Grill by Judith Driscoll Bryan

  • Stone Granite (5/16/2008 11:40:00 PM)

    Great poem. The wonder of beer - even simese twins joined at the goin are appetizing. There is hope of all of us to get some!

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  • I M Swan (1/30/2007 10:05:00 PM)

    I think this a poem describes some of my husbands relatives. Very funny.

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  • Frank James Ryan Jr...fjrFrank James Ryan Jr...fjr (5/21/2006 1:05:00 AM)

    A HOOT & A HOLLAR... DO YOU DO STAND-UP? I ENJOY YOUR SPIRITED STYLE. BELIEVE IT OR NOT DEANNA IF YOU READ MY WORK YOU WILL
    EVENTUALLY ENTER INTO(gettin' scared, yet? ..Darn..) THE WORLD OF ABSTRACT, DARKNESS, DREAD & WOE....BECAUSE...................................
    THAT S WHAT MAKES ME HAPPY! ALL KIDDING ASIDE DEANNA, I ENJOY YOUR LITERARY LEVITY VERY MUCH, CAUSE YOU COMPOSE IT SO WELL.
    FRANK

    ''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''~F. J. R.~'''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''

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  • Sylvia Spencer (5/18/2006 3:35:00 PM)

    Deanna I am so glad I have visited your page I have not stoped laughing what a great writer you are. cheers Sylvie

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