In Trailer Park Zoo, North of Ludlow,
Sue danced to the song on her radio.
Hollered ''Hell, yeah! '' like a true Red Neck,
While kissing her monthly Welfare Check.
Bosoms were hoisted by an up-lift bra.
Her girdled tush looked snugly un-flawed.
Dimpled flesh held taut - by tight Spandex.
Her trailer park key, swung from her neck.
Newly divorced, she guzzled down...
Her last cold beer. Then, headed for town.
Parked her truck at the Bar & Grill.
'A Trailer Park Queen, out for a thrill.'
Hiding away any money she had.
''I'll find a Loser to pay my Bar Tab! ''
She spied two fools, sharing a stool.
T'was Siamese Twins, Jim + Joe O'Toole.
Some-Are Teeth, they grinningly bared.
''Some-are...here and some-are...there.''
Tho' their hideousness caused Sue to stare.
She stuck to them, like a hare in a snare.
On four knees, she sat, drinking''Free Beer! ''
Flirt'n and hug'n and kiss'n their ears.
Trouble began when Joe asked for a dance,
En-raging Jim, cause he wanted first chance.
Two brothers fighting, attached at the groin.
Sue yelled ''Can't yah just... flip a coin? ''
Oops! Too late! All 3 toppled to the floor.
''You %#* Morons.'' she cursed and swore.
In handcuffs, the twins were lead away.
Regretting their quarrel with deepest sorrow.
''I hope she returns the $500 she borrowed! ''
Miles away, in the comfort of home,
An idea sparked. Sue grabbed the phone.
''Male Escort Service? Please, send me 3.
I've 500 reasons to...PAR-TEE! ''
Moral? .......... Never loan money to a lady wearing Spandex!
This poem has not been translated into any other language yet.