Redemption - Poem by Chris Prosser
I lived in darkness, afraid of the light
because it shows my shame and reveals my plight
and I didn't think anyone could bear the sight
of my weak little naked black soul.
He gave me Hope for my weakest of times
and when I feel so cold in the darkness, she shines,
and when I need it most her soft smile reminds
me that I really, really do matter.
How can it be that my life is so backward
and flip flopped and ugly and tragic and awkward
yet lovely and hopeful and beautiful still?
Could all of this pain be the great Lover's will?
Alas, I shall see, for the sunrise draws near
and the portrait I'm painting is coming in clear
and now maybe in all of this I've learned to steer
this old car we call life back on track.
They say lover and fighter and hero and saint
and the victim and loser but one thing I ain't
is a villain who takes these bright colors of paint
meant for life and creates instead death.
No, I think that maybe one thing I see
is that what holds me back has been actually me
and so now that I'm dead I am finally free
to paint life with the colors of life.
The colors of love and of joy and of peace
and the sweet sound of swinging in smiling trees
and the fanciful fragrance of fun fantasies
and the laughter of all of my friends.
The struggle inside is so constant and true
but it no longer keeps me from running to you
and so even though grays threaten every hue
now at very long last, love lives.
I work through my fears and I challenge each foe
and I know you won't leave me behind even though
I have bruised you and battered and wounded you so
that I hardly believe you can breathe.
But you breathe nonetheless and you walk with me still
and you show me your goodness and kindness and will
and I don't understand how I murder and kill
and you just hold me there in your arms.
Your strong steady arms that just won't let me go.
They just won't let me go even though I don't know
and I stumble so slow with my dead heart in tow
but I know that you just won't let go.
In moments of silent confusion you stay
and you give my life light and you brighten my day
and you teach me to suffer with grace in a way
that makes others look deep in themselves.
I don't even know you yet trust you the same
because in this sick life chasing fortune and fame
I have become so weary and filled up with shame
that there's nowhere else for me to turn.
But then again where else would I rather be?
I mean who else would love me and help me to see
that no matter how bad I am I am still free
to be, cant you see, simply me?
Do you see it? It's true! So jump up and down!
We can once and for all do away with that frown
and replace all our pain with a heavenly crown
and soon join the sweet wonderful feast!
It will cost you your life and your stock and your store
and you will not have piles of gold anymore
but what glitters is...well, what you ARE looking for
has been waiting for you all along.
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